Insane Mind Power

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I've been labeled but I forgive you.

Excellent. There always has to be someone labeling you some time in your life. For some it happens frequently. For others, it is seldom. For me, it hasn't happened in a while, until recently. But it is quite puzzling when someone you're closely acquainted with does the same due to a misunderstanding. Or rather, a communication error. Speaks a lot about where I stand and where that someone sees me. What the fuck that person meant about me saving my own ass, I haven't a clue. That person seems to not want to reply via a form of communicative medium? With all due respect, that is a little disturbing. Just because the person didn't seem to get what they wanted at that point in time, doesn't constitute labeling someone. It is far from necessary. If you have a problem with the way I handle things, then speak to me. I tried to probe but no response thus far. And I have always had this person's best interest in my interest. And now I am labeled as such. I am disturbed. This is how things are handled. I have my own issues to handle as well. I am also bogged down with a few issues. If I had caused a delay in providing you with the information you had required, you speak of that issue. You don't speak of something which is unrelated because you're having some issues on your own. What kind of logical approach to problem solving is that? Criticize and condemn me all you want. I am open to such things but let it be for the issue at hand. Not send me a message and ask me to go decrypt something about getting the inner meaning if I have the caliber. I am not a psychic to know what you're rambling on about. In fact, I haven't a clue. Yet you made it seem like I committed the crime of the century. This better not be a method of escapism by blatantly blaming me for any of your shortcomings. I am sorry but I am also human. I also have issues at hand to tackle. Do I judge you or label you for your actions/inactions? Then what right do you have to label me as you wish? Please, act with an open heart. Don't be biased because of a previous incident which I was involved in. That is far from being a just human. And you acting this way is most disturbing. Here, I have deep respect and love for you, my friend. But you put across messages in such context. Sigh. Albeit, I have stayed away from practically everyone for a while now, I believe I know what I am doing and why I am doing it. It is absolutely necessary for me. I am a man. That is what men do when they have a major issue they need to settle. They go into their caves and remain silent. They back off from rest of the world until the issue is resolved. That is what I am trying to arrive at. It is a normal psychological behaviour for a male. At what rate I get over this ultimately depends on how fact I act on the solution that is yet evading me. But I believe it will come in the right time. I have screwed up way too many times and this is just another one of them. I need this space to re-evaluate my purpose in life. As I have mentioned before and will do it once again, I am sorry if my words came out wrong and it was not my intention to do so. But you failing to understanding and blatantly throwing such words at me is far from justified. I wish you will get back to me at the soonest. I will do my part to try to get through to you without annoying you. i believe this issue can be resolved. It has been a rough year thus far. Why make it rougher by having this grudge with me, my dear friend. Talk to me, please. Love you, my good friend. Take care. Peace. And yes, I am sorry, once again.

NB: Normally I post something trying to sound grammatically correct but I am mentally exhausted and not going to make an effort to correct myself. If you do notice any errors, do bear with me. If it really annoys you, let me know. I'll change it the next time I update.

Oh and thanks for listening to my musings. Peace.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Hooray for my government and to me, too

Apparently, my government is giving away some money, again, to all its citizens. Albeit its not much but I could sure do with some extra cash right now. But the problem is, how am I going to get that money into my online account? I don't have a credit card. And I need money in my online account in order to apply for a VCC. Argh. I'll find a way. I always find a way. Maybe I'll just convince someone I know to transfer me the cash and then I'll rip them off later on. Shhh, it's our little secret. Don't tell them. No, they won't read my blog entry as well. Nah, I'll pay them when I have some extra cash. I'm a nice guy. Honest to Google, I am! See, I really need to start a decent porn site (ironic, eh?). You know, porn, but with all the juicy details cut out. If you haven't a clue, then never mind. I'll show it to you when it is up. I am looking for male actors to audition for me. Send me your videos, minus your crown jewels. And ladies, ladies, need I say more? Send me your videos! I'll make you famous, I swear!

P.S. If you're a NSFW or NSFK or NSFH website lover, stay away from this site. Don't come here to whine and bitch about my cool content. Bugger off. Thank you, come again.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Overwhelmingly Insane

In my last post, I mentioned I'd do a write up on the top 9,999,999 things about Social Bookmarking. Unfortunately, due to overwhelming response within myself, I am unable to list down all of them. Why? Simple. There are more than 9,999,999 reasons. So I didn't want to do injustice to this article by only listing so few.

That aside, I am slowly starting to lose my sanity. Here is my current predicament. I am currently on a conquest to become overwhelmingly rich but my resources are at an all time low. My unemployment status and massively low bank account isn't helping me, as yet. Trust me when I say low. I don't have a credit card and I cannot even afford to buy a domain name or paid hosting. Plus I am bogged down by huge debts. Oh, don't ask how much. This is not a confession. Just me ranting away to satisfy myself. You see, writing helps me to relax and think. Immediately there is no solution.

But there is a workaround. I just need the community to support me. No, I am not asking for donations. But if you wish to donate, please contact me asap! Why the community, eh? The idea of working for someone or under someone isn't pleasing at all. Albeit, I have been working professionally, for six years, I have grown tired of it. The rat race isn't my thing. It is also a little disappointing that everyone around me is in a similar situation. Has it got anything to do with me?

Yes, I am afraid it does. Everyone else around me have their own set of calculated/miscalculated issues. It is discomforting and discouraging for me to seek help from a closed door and not-so-rich social circle. So I have, well, theoretically, moved away from everyone I know. Come on, you're still online, how can you be in a state of solitude, you may ask. I agree. But I rather not talk about my current predicament to these people. All they do is question why I didn't perform better in the past and keep my current job, grit my teeth and just live like the rest of them? Well, I wish to live comfortably. Enough said. If it takes me a while to make it big, I'd gladly do it. No more 9-5 job for me. Condescend and criticize me for all I care. I've heard enough bullshit already.

Time to take action. The time has come. The time is here. The time is now.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Top 10 Things I Hate About Social Bookmarking

Ahhh don't we all love tits? I mean lists? So here is my list about the Top 10 Things I Hate About Social Bookmarking. Why Top 10? Cause I only have 10 and they are the top. So shove it and read.

1. They're everywhere. In every blog, every website and every toilet.

2. They don't come with tits. Wait ... some do. I am just not that lucky, yet.

3. Too many of them. Last I checked ... wait I never checked. Probably in the range of 100s.

4. You spend way too much time sitting in front of your screen, waiting for replies.

5. You do it cause all your friends think it's cool. You haven't a clue.

6. You still go ahead and do it even if you have no idea what you're doing.

7. You sign up for too many accounts not knowing its purpose.

8. You tend to focus on one or two coolersocial bookmarks, abandoning the rest.

9. You get people to join in, even if they don't want to or have no idea what social bookmarking is.

10. You're a victim of it. It's addictive but mommy still loves you.

So there. What are your Top 10 reasons? Feel free to post them here. Come on, guys! Get involved. That's why we posts lists, right? We secretly believe that our readers will get involved in the fun if we post lists, right? So step right in!

Plus, in the upcoming post, I will list out the Top 9,999,999 reasons why I love tits. I mean social bookmarking.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Pregnant Men

This has to be the weirdest subject to hit the Internet since the Internet itself. So much hype has been going around this story. There is no hard evidence that this is even real and that the tests conducted are even real. Anything can be conjured up to be 'true' these days. Probably just a story for some major propaganda and to get the public involved. It sounds massively insane and these radical scientists are thriving on people like us. They need people to actually discuss such issues to create more hype about it. Theoretically speaking, some of their ideas/ideals are not just their own manifestation but are some that certain human beings have 'always wanted' so they're satisfying their needs for a sum of money.

That aside, why do you think the Chinese dude Mr Lee went on Oprah? Simple. To get the word out and empathy (more like sympathy and bullshit love) so that more people will talk about it and embrace/condemn him. Publicity stunt. And as much as Oprah has done her fair share of good for society, such publicity is certainly unnecessary, especially for children, and it will only create more rumors surrounding this story. Sure, we can all raise our opinions and views on the standing issue but theoretically it isn't going to change anything drastically by discussing about it here or anywhere else for that matter. Unless people physically vote down against such weird experiments, these people will continue to size up such acts of i-don't-know-what-to-call-them. Seems all like some melodramatic reality tv to me with an added boost of salt.

If these couples really want to have their kids in whatever fashion, please, for the love of humanity, keep it under the sheets. No need to publicize. What use is this bringing us by going public? Sure, we adults can somehow adjust our mentality to accept such things but how are we to explain such 'unnatural acts' to our young ones? Isn't such events going to steer them into a different path as compared to what they deem possible and acceptable? Wouldn't this alter their state of mind even further and cause conflict in their heads. The world has enough problems already. We are just finding ways and means to pile them up together. Hasn't anyone though of this?

To make the issue even more ridiculous, more the Ex-Man and Mr. Lee are only concerned about how they have always wanted to have a baby and how fulfilling it will be for them as its their lifelong dream, blah blah blah. Once again, some of us have truly showcased that we are indeed the selfish species and that we only care for ourselves. Absolutely no one in their silly experiment seem overly concerned about the children that are going to come into existence and how they will grow up in 'Strangeland'. Once again, the children are left to suffer. When will these people ever, ever think of the children? Now bear in mind that I am pretty open to bi/transgender relationships but anything concerning and putting the survival and livelihood of children at stake is something I'd rather not tolerate.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

The $25 Contest from ThaGuru.com

It seems our friend at ThaGuru has some money to give away, so he has setup a contest to write a post about that contest and comment on his blog and he would drop by and check to see if you have actually done it. Contest ends on April 30 2008. What an ingenious way to gain traffic to his site and get the blogging community involved. Now, if only I had $50 to spare. Oh well, here is the entry you requested ThaGuru. Now I wish you good luck in choosing the winner!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

April Fool

In the heart of April Fool's day, here is an overused, not rated article about April Fool which I conveniently decided to steal off the net. Thank you God for your assistance. We love you too.

"The history of April Fool's Day or All Fool's Day is uncertain, but the current thinking is that it began around 1582 in France with the reform of the calendar under Charles IX. The Gregorian Calendar was introduced, and New Year's Day was moved from March 25 - April 1 (new year's week) to January 1.

Communication traveled slowly in those days and some people were only informed of the change several years later. Still others, who were more rebellious refused to acknowledge the change and continued to celebrate on the last day of the former celebration, April 1. These people were labeled "fools" by the general populace, were subject to ridicule and sent on "fool errands," sent invitations to nonexistent parties and had other practical jokes played upon them. The butts of these pranks became known as a "poisson d'avril" or "April fish" because a young naive fish is easily caught. In addition, one common practice was to hook a paper fish on the back of someone as a joke.

This harassment evolved over time and a custom of prank-playing continue on the first day of April. This tradition eventually spread elsewhere like to Britain and Scotland in the 18th century and was introduced to the American colonies by the English and the French. Because of this spread to other countries, April Fool's Day has taken on an international flavor with each country celebrating the holiday in its own way.

In Scotland, for instance, April Fool's Day is devoted to spoofs involving the buttocks and as such is called Taily Day. The butts of these jokes are known as April 'Gowk', another name for cuckoo bird. The origins of the "Kick Me" sign can be traced back to the Scottish observance.

In England, jokes are played only in the morning. Fools are called 'gobs' or 'gobby' and the victim of a joke is called a 'noodle.' It was considered back luck to play a practical joke on someone after noon.

In Rome, the holiday is known as Festival of Hilaria, celebrating the resurrection of the god Attis, is on March 25 and is also referred to as "Roman Laughing Day."

In Portugal, April Fool's Day falls on the Sunday and Monday before lent. In this celebration, many people throw flour at their friends.

The Huli Festival is celebrated on March 31 in India. People play jokes on one another and smear colors on one another celebrating the arrival of Spring.

So, no matter where you happen to be in the world on April 1, don't be surprised if April fools fall playfully upon you."

The next time you feel naughty, kinky or horny on April Fool's, please look for me. I am willing to make your butt my personal throbbing joke. Yay.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

I stumbled upon face book and it was delicious and I totally digg it but it got slashdotted

Either I am totally lost on what is happening in the Internet world or I am really totally lost. Gone were the days when Friendster was the king of social network sites. Or was it Adult Friend Finder? Others like Hi5 and Ringo and some others which I am too lazy to find out popped up here and there to spice up the already lost competition. And then we had Multiply which seemed to reign for a while until Facebook came and conquered them all just when MySpace was leading the race. And for the niche community of students, there is Yearbook. And then came along the Blogs and the Wikis and etc. I might have missed out a lot of other stuff. Hey, I'm no tech junkie, you know. Just an informant for the uninitiated who always ask me questions when they can easily get a faster and better answer on Google. Oh, unless you consider me a guru, say in the subject of the female species or sex, then please consult me. My email address is here.

Now unless you're a stranger to the internet world, (you're not alone, I am as strange as you are), you must have realized there are all these social network or social bookmark sites and blog/article submitting directories. The original one I believe that started this is Slashdot. Readers target mostly tech websites links and they post them on Slashdot and the amount of hits they to the site that gets posted is so massive that the sites literally encounter downtime or even crash. This was and is still popularly known as being Slashdotted or the Slashdot Effect. These social bookmark sites are everywhere. A quick Google Search will churn out the results. Hey, I've already given you the search link, go click on the links. Okay back to social bookmarking sites. For starters, the more common ones I can think of are StumbleUpon, Digg, Reddit, Furl and Del.icio.us. Best part is, joining is FREE! Weeeee!

Yes, you read that right. Del.icio.us. So what do these sites do? Well they allow the posters to surf the internet and favourite their sites online, so that they can access it anywhere else in the end, and rate these sites and the more popular the site becomes by bookmarking it, it naturally becomes a hit and more traffic gets to that site. If most of the internet users out there in this world and Mars think that your site sucks, then it is time to go and die. No, of course not. Just ask for people on how to revive your webpage. The online or rather faceless community is pretty friendly and always there to lend a helping hand. All you have to do is put aside your ego and ask. Most of them will be willing to help you at almost or even zero cost.

Disclaimer: Subject to their availability. I am not their guardian, so don't go firing at them cause you took my word for it that you might get free help. There is no free lunch. If you're lucky, you might get lunch or dinner. That's it. Now quit whining. Bitch.

So if your site gets stumbled or digged (congratulations!), assuming you have one kick-ass site/blog unlike mine (insert heh sound here), make sure you have enough bandwidth to keep it online in case it also faces the Slashdot Effect. If you don't know what bandwidth means, it simply means that it your site get crashed and it cannot be accessed, you obviously don't have enough bandwidth. Simplest way to explain things. Then you will become an instant famous and/or infamous person online! Only for a while till the hype dies off. But who cares, your shot at becoming popular online is there, so go get your site crashed! You might even get featured on CNN/BBC! Okay, okay, so it seems that all these stuff are leaning towards Web 2.0, which I will not go through here, go and read at the given link. This is the future of the web, to what I know. I do not have access to the cosmos to know if there will be a Web 4.5 Ver 6 available but if you get any informating from God or his sidekicks, keep me posted. So move aside just friend finding networking sites, enter social networking/booking marking sites! For those who are wishing for the worse to happen to me, no, I will not get slashdotted. Thank you very much.

Friday, March 21, 2008

How to save the world - Part - III - I'm kidding, really I am

Okay, so you're all geared up to save the world now or later, right? Wrong! No, I don't mean that you don't possess the capability to save the world. I am just here to say that you don't just pack a few stuff and pretend you're some super-hero and read this post and do the whole saving the whole thing. I mean, like, what are you, an idiot? Straighten up, man! There is just so much to do. Here's what we will plan out. Hey, I mean, if you're going to save the world, you need a plan, right? So hold on to your horses and grab that pen (working one, please) and paper and let's write down those world saving pointers! Right on, mate!

Right. And you actually read all that and almost believed I didn't have the much anticipated answer? I mean, if you were actually reading this far, you were waiting for some mambo jambo or miracle, right? Well, here it goes. The way to save the world is in you. There. I've said it. Yes, in you, you dweeb. Oh, you don't get the whole in you thing, right? Just as I thought. I mean you came all the way here to find the answer to saving the world, right? I almost forgot my saviour status. So I will hold your hand and let you know what I meant by in you. Time to get a little serious here, so pick up the phone and get ready to dial your local ambulance hotline in case you're about to flip.

Okay, okay! Enough already! On with it! Sure thing, mate. You're the boss. Right. So, as I was saying, the way to save the world is in you. Literally in you. Somewhere in that amoeba or sub-atomic particle in you. No, don't cut yourself up to find out. I'm dead serious. Some people will literally take what I am saying, literally. Yes, I meant literally in you. Not physically in you. It's in the way you think. Oh no! Not another positive minded save yourself and save the world theory you scream! Dude, you're here to friggin' save the world. You clean out your friggin' thoughts and acts first! You can't go and save the world if you're a closet masturbation expert, right? I don't know what that means either but you get the point. Rest assured, I am not here to sell you some ebook for $97 or $47 and have an extra special super discount page for $7 or take a 30 day course for $997, $497 or have an extra special super discount page for the $297 one-of-a-kind-super-advanced-never-heard-before-but-was-used-by-people-
ages-ago-and-used-by-all-the-top-internet-marketing-gurus-
or-experts-kind-of-meditation with my iron,steel, metal, silver, gold or whatever metallic substance I can find 30, 60 or 90 days money back guarantee for you to get attuned in first before saving the world. (Was a really long sentence, I know.) The world doesn't have 30 days. The world only has its people. The world only has You. Touche? Yeah, I know.

Here is the your ultimate world saving plan. Approved by every known world saving guru out there on and off the internet! Heck, it's even approved by Superman! Now you have absolutely no fear of doing your part to save the world! The gist of it is simple. It's always simple, isn't it? You clean out your thoughts and acts starting from today. Yes, no secret mantras involved! No one is asking you to be a saint or hermit. Those are for guys and girls who wish to look like Himalayan monkeys and don't wish to get laid, like ever. Do a small good deed today. Like read this blog and tell someone who really deserves help. Just reading this post won't help him/her, you moron! I mean, tell them the good stuff I am writing out here. Hey, this is hard work, you know. It's not a sit down and meditate and expect the rest of the world to help you concept. You help yourself first. You be a better person from today onwards. You treat that little bitch in the park with kindness. No, not hit it on with that hot mama/milf. I meant the dog. You give your food, preferably leftovers, to your neighbour. Never mind if it is not halal if he/she is a Muslim. They usually won't eat it or give it away, anyway. It's the thought that counts. Yes, they have angels on your left and right to count your brownie points for you! Yay! How cool is that? Stop dreaming and listen up! You give that guy/girl on the streets who is faking an illness or a handicap and give him/her your last 10 dollars and pray to your favourite God, who looks much better than you by the way, that your good deed will come back to you in ten fold. Hey, karma, remember? What goes around comes around. Do not try that by throwing a knife or shooting a bullet at someone. That person will be dead and the wound or shot won't come back to you. Okay, maybe if you're a ghost lover, they might but ghosts have better things to do than to look ugly and haunt people.

At the end of 30 days like how they all like it, see how much a better person or loser you've become. If you're a better person, than good. See if you can be featured on your local TV show to advertise yourself and gain instant pop status! If you've become a loser, at least feel proud that your loss has resulted in something for the greater good. After all, it is always about the greater good. Every guru propagates that fact that you're one with the rest of the Universe. Sure you are. No really, you are. Just don't fuck it up for others cause you're only going to fuck it up for yourself. And no, I am not fucking kidding here. Now go ahead and dial that ambulance hotline and tell them that some deranged fella has given you instructions to follow but never asked you to buy anything. Or call your nearest child-loving priest or self-help line to seek further help. You've been served. Peace.

P.S. Nothing to see here. This part is usually the most noticed in any letter/post, eh? Yeap, you just proved it. Sheesh.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

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Monday, March 03, 2008

How to save the world - Part II - Truth

So what is the truth or rather, Truth? If everyone of us have our own variation of the Truth, what constitutes the real Truth? Perhaps, there is one such Truth that exists. At least, to me is does. One that is free from falsehood and error. We shall call it Ultimate Truth or Absolute Truth for now. We all like to label things, don't we? So where do we find this Truth? Well, we shall find out. I ask too many questions for your own good. So read on if you're interested.

Ever had one of those episodes where you're scratching your head out to resolve a long outstanding issue and there just doesn't seem to be any way to overcome it? So you spend way too much time trying to get around it and eventually you just give up and let it go. At least most of us do. For those who are mentally strong, you know where I'm headed. So you go about your usual mundane routine after some time, and one day you're dumbstruck with the most obvious (but not so obvious then) solution and you'd slap yourself silly for thinking, "Why didn't I think of that before?" So the solution had come to you. (If such a thing has never happened to you, either you're unaware of yourself or you simply refuse to believe anything that you'd deem as ridiculous or out of the ordinary or you just got to wait for your turn). But where from? Divine intervention, I'd say? So all we have to do was whenever we had a standing issue, to just let it go and wait for the solution and it will pop out at an unknown time? Seems like it does, at times, if we let it come to us. Whether we have the patience for it is another issue. We're too caught up with our current predicament to actually wait for this solution. Perhaps. We're always on the lookout for that instant solution but the solution doesn't arrive oh-so instantly. We're far too impatient to wait and just give up. Fair enough. I mean if you have a massive debt to resolve, you'd spend time worrying about it day and night and focus on that as compared to waiting for the solution to arrive, right? Come on, we're just human, you'd argue. Well, for argument's sake, yeah we are but are we really human or is there more to us?

So what does all this have to do with the Truth, Ultimate Truth or Absolute Truth? Simply put, there lies the Absolute Truth in us. Yes, right inside of us. Huh? Where? Beats me, buster. If I knew, I'd be richer than all the richest people in the world. So just know it is inside of us. In came from inside of you somewhere, right? It is this Ultimate Truth aka Divine Intervention that provides the solution to us when we're ready to accept it, as some enlightened people would say or have you believe. We'd love to disagree with that but at the same time we'd easily nod our heads to that too. Desperate times call for desperate measures. So now that we know that the solution provider is labeled as Truth, Ultimate Truth, Absolute Truth, Divine Intervention or whatever uber cool term we'd love to give it, how do we go about being in sync with so that we can solve all our problems and some day save the world? This is about saving the world, right? You mean, it is not? It is? Fine, fine, I will wait for Part III to find out more.

Disclaimer, well sort of: We're all suckers for believing someone who seems to know better than us. So we either condemn them or embrace them depending on what happens to us after we believe them and take action based on their words. Take the initiative to do your own research first before coming to your own conclusion about anything. Don't be too quick to blame others for your own shortcomings. We're all 100% responsible for our own actions. Peace.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Well, what do you know?

I'm evaluating a multi-media course on blogging from the folks at Simpleology. For a while, they're letting you snag it for free if you post about it on your blog.

It covers:

The best blogging techniques.
How to get traffic to your blog.
How to turn your blog into money.

I'll let you know what I think once I've had a chance to check it out. Meanwhile, go grab yours while it's still free.

Monday, February 11, 2008

How to save the world - Part I - Us

We all wish we could one day save the world. Well, at least some of us do. But truly, most of us, rather live in our very own resigned state. Perhaps, it was ingrained into our minds from our early childhood, if any, that the world's problem is well, up to the rest of the world to resolve. But are we not of this same world? But of course, we are. We're just separated by our own idealistic and somewhat realistic theologies, that we just proclaim to be true. If there is even an inch of truth in our claims. Truth is, we all have our own versions of the Truth that we think of as the Truth. We all believe we know what is best for everyone else around us, from this preconceived and preconditioned version of the Truth. Somehow we seem to know what is best for someone else, as compared to knowing what is best for ourselves. Maybe it has not dawned upon us that we are merely stroking our own ego, or as some people would like to spell it, Ego. Our Ego feels an adrenaline rush, when we spew out 'words of wisdom' to others and they shine in its glory. Naturally, we feel good making others feel good. Or so, we think. For the rest of us, we rather listen to others and see what they deem fit for us. For what can we possibly know about something that we have no idea how to resolve, other than to seek someone who has gone through that experience or has the necessary skills to do so? Do we really not know? Are we that ignorant or have we been conditioned that way to listen to someone else 'better' to solve our own problems for us? For quite often, we are hesitant to listen cause deep down inside, something tells us that we can do this on our own. But their version of the Truth somehow seems to rail its way into our hearts and minds, rather reluctantly but forcefully without our conscious awareness. And we fall prey to this altered version of the Truth and we proceed to dig deeper into our own graves. And this, this is the start of a growth. A cancerous tumor. It starts from within, then it eats you from the inside and slowly finds its way out of you and leeches itself onto others. But the arising pandemic already has a cure. A single, most potent and most powerful cure that will not just save the world but it will also save you. We are here to save us from ourselves. Do we really not know?

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Monkey Dance Melon Mamas

Catastrophic. Just what I've always wanted to avoid. It happened. She cried. After having gone for a short time, she has to do this. To cajole me into doing what I will never do partake in. It's the emotional aspect of these things that surround my every echo. Am I deserving of this? Or maybe I should ask, do I deserve this? Perhaps, I deserve this. The dead loyalty speaks for itself now. Regain the respect or lose every aspect. Fucking balls. I know where I stand now. It was never about the fire or utmost desire. It is about not ignoring ignorance. Rest on my lap and let me die. For I have chosen the path that you will never tread. I am forgiven.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Solitude

It has been creeping up inside of me for far too long. Maybe I've just pretended it was never there or maybe never gave it a second thought. But after having a chat with a friend of mine, things started to flood my thoughts. It's the constant feeling of being lonely within the four walls on your own home. Or rather, house in my case. Perhaps I was too caught up with seeking family love elsewhere. But I did attain lots of it. Too much for my own liking. Too much that it has made me reflect on my own home. The little things like having a meal together, family talk, hugging and arguing over asinine things are as good as dead. It was hardly, well, never there in the first place. My nephew is a blessing, no doubt. He brings about the love from everyone but directed to him. What about the rest of us? Has what I've done and not been doing made them nonchalant towards me? Or is it the deranged thoughts in me that is seeing things as such?

I've been told to initiate the actions. Yeah. Perform my role as a son. The thing is, this isn't a performance. I don't want to indulge in all those family related stuff if it doesn't sincerely come from the heart. I don't want to fake it. Why should I be the one to make the first move? Why not them? Contemplating on who is going to make the first move isn't going to do anything for me. Will I be ready to face their music and vice versa? Admittedly, I come from a rather, oh-so-they-believe, pious family. Is it my actions and failure to commit myself to a religion that I have no faith in that is causing the problem? I hail from a religion which believes religion is far above everything else and the rest is all secondary. I guess I'll be able to accept the hard hitting fact that if they say they're acting this way towards me for not following their religious views. But the aftermath is utter disappointment on my end. Why must religion be above everything else? Where is the humanity in us all? I know I can't change their beliefs that they're the only ones going to heaven in the end but have they been so brainwashed that they forget the essential needs of any human? Love. Am I supposed to live with their rigid beliefs and accommodate to their sickly ways?

I'm not different from anyone out there. I just do what every other person does. Question stupidity. Faith is one thing. Stupidity is another. Why are people so caught with blind faith that they fail to see that stupidity in them? The elders, we can't blame. They've been brainwashed and brought up in such an way that they refuse to change. Even if they do, they still will have difficulties to digest certain things we youngsters will say. Why brand us as modern and open-minded just because they're old-fashioned and narrow-minded? We're not futurists to be declared modern. We're just contemporary. I'm using the words in their aspect. It's upsetting to see such families where I come from that they will look at you suspiciously if you sit too close to your own cousin sisters. For fuck's sake, I'm their blood brother. I'm not going to fucking molest or impregnate their daughters. Can't a brother be close to his own sisters? Is a hug going to arouse us and make us wet and want to fuck one another? We know where we stand and how we see each other as. No need to try and separate us because your stupid fucking religion says so. When will these people first learn to be human?

I have far too much anger in me to write everything out. This is nothing. I will write out every possible stupidity that I've seen in this religion, some day. Wait for that day or keep bugging me to write more, if interested. And I just might do so. Peace.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Shit. I forgot the title of this entry.

So I decided that I'd pity myself and blabber something along the way before I start my disappearing act again. I'm doing this just so to appease my senses. But when I dwell into these things, it makes me ponder who I really am? Who am I? Rather, what am I? Am I a collection of other people's thoughts, emotions and feelings? Or am I just the result of being their punching bag? I do not remember speaking in my real voice. Everything that I utter is somehow influenced or manipulated by someone. Anyone. How does one go into the whole soul searching of oneself to discover who one really is when everything he or she has ever heard, seen, touched, smelt, felt or fucked is the result of another's dump? What is it that is original? What defines originality? What defines reality? Am I just a product of misery? Am I just here to listen to everyone wallow in their own self pity? Not that I'm concerned about it. I'm too bored to do anything else. So I just start hearing. Then I get engrossed and start to listen. Then I start to feel what they feel. Then it becomes worthy of every penny. Trust develops. Well at least for them. I wish I could just be a bitch to everyone and tell them to fuck off and quit whining about their self thought pathetic lives. I can't quite do that, as yet. Perhaps, I may have influenced their choices too. Perhaps, they want to blame me for their shortcomings. Perhaps, this is just a test. Yes, like what good old God likes. Tests. Everything is a test. Everything I do, be it good or bad is a test. So if I pass these tests, I become honoured and remembered. And if I fuck things up wholesale, I get remembered too. So I'll take the simpler and more approachable way. But I can't go on fucking everyone up. There are people I care about. People I love. People I love more than they will ever know. Okay, some of them do know. I do tell them. No, I'm not obsessed with their titties or ass. It's more than just love. An inexplicable bond. If I were to explain, I'd need to setup an entire blog site. Fuck no, I'm not kidding. It's that complicated yet it's the simplest and smallest thing that everyone tends to overlook. A bond so strong it differs from every other relationship there is. Unique. You would know what I'm referring to if you felt the 'Fuck! I know what he is referring to!' feeling. If you didn't do try to read from the beginning and try to decipher what has been said. Random things come to random people at random times. Hah. What the fuck just happened, I don't know. But one thing is for sure. I know exactly what I'm getting at here. Oh. And one more thing. I think I'm done.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Choices

Suppose you were given a choice to tread two paths. One, a life of controlled happiness where everything your parents want you to do has to accomplished by you failing which you're quick to be disowned. And the other where happiness is measured by events that occur in your life periodically but most uncertainly. Such happiness is of utmost importance to you. Which would you choose? Have we really been given a choice to decide what we want to do when we reach a certain age in our lives or has everything been predetermined?

By predetermined, I mean our parents deciding things for us to benefit their happiness. Of course, as parents they would reduce you to a nanoscale and have supreme rights over you. Not forgetting that they would jump at every opportunity to stop you from growing up and always endearingly address you as their loved ones. They blatantly will lie that they love you and care for you and want the best for you. But sure they do. No, I mean really they do. But most often they're concerned of what someone else would have to comment about you as it will affect their honor. We know parents these days are not like that except that we say that to merely convince ourselves. Parents try too hard to adapt to modernization. Everything they see that which is not within their control and advancement to them is being modern. So to curb such extra-terrestrial activities from affecting us, they mould us from ground up to ensure that we grow up according to their world. How they perceive the world to be and how everything that is evil in their eyes is automatically accepted as evil elsewhere. This is all in their benefit as I've mentioned earlier but they will deceive you with their love and say it is for your own good. Not having a choice in what you want to do is somehow good for you in their eyes. Catch is, if you realize their evil, okay noble intentions, the path that you're going to travel is going to be a bumpy one. Be prepared to be admonished for everything that doesn't concern you. Slight variations in your examination results affect their blood pressure. Cool friends are always the parent's enemy. The homely, I-will-not-masturbate kind of friends is what they would want you to have. Even your friends have to be screened before you're given full administrative rights. If all goes well and you score well with the girl in glass, exams I mean, they will love you and brag to others about how their child is God's blessing to them. One little fuck up and out comes the belt or sometimes the ever popular rattan stick. Kinky as it may seem, it's not something that you'd want to end up getting whipped with. Nothing creamy there. To add to that, if you start to fuck up, they will curse you first, and then say that you've been cursed. What's up with that anyway? They would be the embarrassment in the family and their high or low flying society. They will have nothing to say when the extravagant ones meet up for high tea. They will become ultimately humiliated. All thanks to you. Unless they somehow, by grace, realize that you're after all something called a human and can't do superhuman feats all the time. But before such realizations hit them, it is their ego that speaks to them first. In colour mind you. When everything goes down the drain, they finally disown you. Okay maybe I'm being a little extreme here but it has happened before. Not to me but many I know. And no this is not a solemn tribute to them. One should feel sympathy for a child with parents like that. It's like having all the 'luxuries' in the world and yet everything is precisely calculated. After a certain age, sleep time shouldn't exist but in certain families, practices are regimental than we can believe. No wonder the boys from these families seem to have a love for the army in more ways than one. When the time comes and you finally make it and marry someone that looks like a half baked fuck face to them, they scorn with you words your mum has never heard before. First they blame you and then they blame your spouse for the misery that you have put them through. What the fuck did we do to deserve such treatment? Nothing. Just being born in such a household. Fun at times when times are good. It is no surprise that children from such families turn to the dark side. Can't blame them. They seek solace in 'new discoveries' that they have been sheltered from for so long. That is why everything would seem so new to them. To them, this is what they've been longing for. The freedom to do what they wish. Once they have 'matured' in such a fashion, they do things to spite their parents, knowing well the effect it will have on them. Pressure rises, casualties occur and the jailbird sings. The perfect ending couldn't have been well put. But that all could be avoided. Writing on such a grand canyon of a topic will leave me here for a lifetime but I have to move on to other scenario.

So your parents are most of the modern type, well according to their definition of course. So they care about your well being and do whatever is in their power to help you attain that goal of yours even if it's against their wishes. They tend to see that what you want in life is important to you. Blessed you must be if such parents bore you. But is such freedom really beneficial to you? How much do you know about what is out there for you to make a well informed decision? This is regardless of which age group you fall in. You may seek parental advice but they will refrain from giving you advice knowing well that you don't do too well with them. They often wait for you to fall and then give you their piece of mind. Accepting what they have to say all depends on the specific scenario that you're facing. You do realize that their experience will help you but your ambitious or rather pompous nature will stop you from learning. You are determined to learn things the hard way and they don't go according to plan; you crumble and stumble upon every imaginable dead end. Still the good times exist as and when you make them to be. Misery may strike you at any time because you haven't reached the capability to overcome them. And when it does happen, you try not to appear weak in front of your parents. But if they're the intelligent sort, they'd realize but still they would leave you be. The vast difference in the concept between the modern you and your old parents may sometimes overwhelm you. Differences in opinions may result in conflicts and you worry more about yourself because you're aware that they're not going to be around for long and what they expect from you doesn't matter. You know that by doing things to momentarily appease them in their golden years isn't going to help you in the long run. Sometimes your comprehending parents wish you were the child they dreamt of but you have other matters to think of. It may seem pretty unfair that you may chuck them aside and be more concerned about your own goals. Educated beyond your ability, salary beyond your expectation and a spouse everyone would die to get hooked up with. Your life may seem fruitful to you and if it's appealing to you, your parents are prepared to understand. But what happens when you start to fuck up knowing well you have all the freedom that they have given you? What if you flirt with the dark side often and end up causing shame to them? Some situations can be avoided. Specific ones, which I need not mention cannot escape. If shit happens, you're answerable for it. As long you don't fuck up anything that causes them grief in this time, it should be okay, right?

The interesting thing about this topic is that the experience with the former is pretty fixed because the parents have been accustomed to their lifestyle and refuse to grow out of it. They have been told to live their lives in such a manner. They were also told to raise their children in order. The difference between this and the latter is that flexibility is there. If the parents understand where you're coming from and you don't do something that drastic, they would rejoice that they had a child like you. Else, they'd disown you like those damn motherfuckers out there. Choosing the second option may seem like the better choice in every imaginable scenario but it is the people who matter in the end as they make or break the choice. It is the feeble human mind that needs to adapt to the surrounding and not vice versa. It is the feeble human mind that has to learn that whatever choice that is made, it is beneficial to both parties. Don't forget to be selfish of course but let others gain as well. Stop the autocracy. This may lead to a better but never a perfect life for both parents and the child. However do not expect things to be colorful all the time. For what is life if it is mundane and routine?

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Say What?

Hello. Perhaps one of the most common greeting when you meet someone new or someone you know. Even when you acknowledge them. But the thought that has occupied my mind of late is that, why the necessity to greet someone? Have we been cultured to do so or are we just doing so that the other party won't count us in as being obnoxious? No matter the definition or rationale, it is rather inevitable that greeting someone has become commonplace. So much that when one fails to do so, one is looked at differently. However, we do at times put ourselves in predicaments where greeting someone upon first contact becomes far from mandatory. On first touch, the point is put across. Very often, in such situations, both parties are aware of the matter at hand. Unless, of course, if one of them chooses to ignore the question, then this scenario becomes null. That aside, let us assume that both parties have communicated willingly without having the need to greet one another. Let's call it mutual understanding for argument's sake. Not that we are going to argue about it but you get the drift. So when the conversation has ended, the need for the parting greet arises.

That begs the question, why the utmost necessity to say a parting greet to someone when they're leaving but it is optional to greet someone upon first contact? Are you able to properly end a conversation without having the need to bid farewell to the person? Are you able to leave without saying anything and performing any form of gesture? Seems pretty impossible when you put yourself in such a situation. One may claim that such a feat can be done but when you're the person involved, are you able to do so? Would you take the risk of being called snobbish? What is true is that people are going to end up being alarmed at your actions. This is one social behaviour which has been recognized everywhere that failure to comply with these rules and regulations makes you a hardened criminal.

When the time comes and you meet anyone you know, just walk up to them and get straight to the point. Wait for the lengthy pause that will occur to signify the end of another (fruitful) conversation. Then just walk away without saying anything to them. Let someone else be there with you observing every reaction that is released from the one you're making contact with. Let your friend tell you, if possible take snapshots, of how alarmed and lost they may look when you just leave the place. Sure you may have a chuckle or two but in the long run, you're going to have a lot of people question your new found self. Lectures and advice will also be sailing your way, though far from being smooth. You may even upset and hurt quite a few people but you're not supposed to feel for them. Rather, question their need to maintain such a cultured society. Tell them some kind of bullshit that you're breaking away from traditional beliefs. Tell them that you've attained nirvana in a way that only you and your kind can understand them. In short, they will end up being irritated. Good news for you, isn't it? Well, you should be rejoicing when others feel miserable. Okay maybe I'm taking this a little too far.

So the next time someone like me is going to walk up to you to say something, be wary. Prepare yourself for extreme shock. Don't end up being the last to laugh. But when you've been there and you know how it feels like, you could do yourself a favour and return the kindness to someone else. Show them how much you love them by being as conceited and obnoxious as possible. They would love you, for sure. If they don't, think of it as their loss. Everyone wants someone else to be different. So make that change today. In time to come, you will realize that 'hi-bye' friends will no longer exist. The world will be a safer place. Trust me. I only speak the truth but I seldom express it in words.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Grandma's Blueberry Pie

You have committed that act, yet again. You do it with such religious fervour. It was as if paper cuts were exhilarating to you. You have chosen this path and promised yourself not to look back. Your conscience begs for your fullest attention. But all you do is allow yourself to be penetrated deeper and harder. It was as if he was smitten by your gargantuan breasts. Spellbound and asinine, he knew not where he was headed. Maybe he knows. You would want him to know. You lured him to you with your empathy. You loved everything about me then and now you despise everything about me. Yet you had the heart to allow yourself to make the same mistake. You do not think of me. Perhaps you do. Perhaps thoughts of hatred surround your lower body. Disgusted you may be in having me in you again. I deserved it but I no longer deserve it. I am only human. You have always sought after the imperfect perfection or was it perfect imperfection? It doesn't matter anymore. You have travelled the choppy roads before. Do you deny what you have become? Do you seek to hide that in the end sex was all you wanted? You live a life of denial and lies and yet you fault me for being a bastard. You expected the perfect imperfection. What you ended up with then was no more than a fulfilment you thought you had found. You concluded that was the end. That your miserable life had some meaning to it. Where were those words which you held onto so dearly? Do they not prick you anymore? I reckon it doesn't. You have found for yourself a new prick. Orgasms aplenty? Better be if not he isn't the best choice. You should seek the bigger, harder and stronger one amongst us. I wasn't your Sex God. Never was. Scrawny and puny I am. You've always had better. Thanks for stroking my ego then. The ride was fun but the obstacles were overwhelming. You claim to have forgiven me but truthfully you have not. You are one who lies to yourself to appease yourself. Do not speak to me about truthfulness. Didn't you stereotype men like how you always have? Have you found the perfect man? Jesus would be happy if you had found him but you completely missed because he doesn't exist. Just what on earth were you thinking that you even allowed him to touch you so soon? Mishaps occur. Does that really justify another man being in you in such short span? Do you feel the itch and miss being pitched? Finally ended up getting hitched not realizing you will be ditched even before the real orgasms start. But that you will never see. It is your hatred for me that has brought you to such a volatile state. I gladly accept the blame. Do you enjoy many manly parts on you and in you? Are you finding one who fits perfectly into your black hole? The perfect man doesn't exist. Stop looking for one and quit thinking you have found him. You have only found someone who succumbs himself to your utmost brilliance. He is enjoying every tissue in your body more than you will ever imagine. Who doesn't mind a free fuck in the name of a relationship? I did. You did. You always used that to want me back yet you vehemently deny that it wasn't about sex. Well, there you go. Face the consequences now. It is you who put up the act of suffering in that period and now you're oozing with ecstasy? When will you learn to think for yourself and stop being so naive? You claim I'm irresponsible and immature when it is you who fits those qualities. Failure to co-operate in your wants and needs doesn't qualify me as a prick. So fuck you. I wish I could but I wouldn't. You think you're enjoying life now? You have yet to see what is going to come to you. History has this habit of repeating itself. I will then see what you and him will do. What you will do to him. What he will do to you. It will almost be fun. Sadistic as I am, if you turn around and want me, I will fuck you and leave you again. I have done it before. I fear not repeating myself once more. Re-enactments are always welcome. Just spread the words and I will spread your legs. Fucking sex hungry bitch. Quit your decent one man woman love affair. If you're a one man woman, you'd stick to one cock and not many. They're all waiting out there somewhere for that opportunity to fuck you. You've wanted to fuck them too. That's why they love to fuck you because you're a fucking horny bitch. Yes, you're fuckable. Tits and ass. A cock hungry blowjob queen. Kudos to you. Fuck you bitch. Fuck you. Fuck.

I'm kidding. I still love you. Bitch.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Life Signs

Expose yourself to others and let them know who you really are. That is what many of us fail to heed. We put on many facades in our lives, far too many times. We often have our personal reasons or vendettas but sometimes it may result in us doing so just to spite someone. But we still go ahead and do it. Do we not care? Looking at one perspective, we don't. Very often, if not always, we only care about ourselves. Who will come forth and deny this factual statement? We do things purely for our own benefit. The altruist doesn't exist. Well, it wouldn't be too far fetched to say, never existed. If they do, they're lying. Yet, we often try to prove to others that we're being selfless. Unfortunately, a lot of them believe you. They trust your genuine nature. A minor percentile of those you know will see through you. But it is we who make ourselves out to be who we want to be. How is that in any way natural? Each path will result in us being different. No matter what the directive or objective, we're still selfish. But doing so isn't a sin. Everyone does it and why must it become something carnal? The one who mocks your selfish nature is being selfish too. He or she wants to prove to you that he or she is being the greater person since they're unlike you. But it is you who is unlike them.

As much you try, you're being yourself. Isn't that what everyone is raving out and about? For someone to accept who you really are, isn't it about accepting all their flaws? Isn't that what all of you want? Well, you have to learn to grow with it. But being selfish isn't a flaw. As a matter of fact, it's human nature. Feel free to disagree. Only you know what you're really hiding. So what use is being selfless? Just to make yourself and the other party feel good for that period of time? Perhaps, it does have some benefit for others. You're at the losing end. Try being selfless for a long time to come and see what happens to you. You start to feel less appreciated and more wanted. Wanted in the sense, where people love to take advantage of your sensitive nature. Try that with being selfish. You stand to gain. Never mind that the other party is feeling the pinch. They too will slowly come to their senses without realizing it. They too will become selfish. Then they will point their fingers at you to fault you. Have you become the sole reason for their change? You may choose to gladly accept it. It is, in fact, what you wanted them to become. But aren't they really being themselves now as compared to putting on a false front all this while? They will choose to blame you for their transformation as long you're around. Perhaps, even after you leave. They will always reflect that they've become an animal like you but they will never comprehend that it is they who have been lying to themselves.

The selfish person prays to imaginary gods but sleeps with real devils. They roam around earth to make love and yet kill the ones who doesn't see eye to eye with them. They preach about peace yet they wage war. They're civilized yet they behave in barbaric fashion. They're friends with you yet they backstab you. Parables aplenty. We are such people. We may despise such things but we do them all the time. So let us cease finding fault with others. Are we not imperfect? Why do we constantly criticize others when we're not and can never be perfect? Perhaps we should learn to accept that, whatever happens around us is for a reason even if we're not capable of understanding it. I was once told, 'war destroys, war creates'. Makes a whole lot of sense to me. Sometimes we have the need to destroy something useless or outdated and make something new or improvise. That is how we have progressed. That is how it will be. If everyone was to fake selflessness, we wouldn't have moved forward in life. Everyone would be content with what they had. No one will branch forward. Civilization would have crumbled. Wars would never have happened and that would have caused a mess. Yes, a bigger mess would have happened if not for war. History may have been different but fuck that. No use arguing that it may have been different if people chose a different path. It has already happened. Quit bitching. Never mind that many lost their lives in the struggle. It's over. Don't fake your mourning for them. They probably weren't interested to fight anyway. All that manipulation to fight doesn't make you a real hero or martyr. Those that compel you to fight, want you to die for your country. Your country wasn't even yours to begin with. So who are you taking ownership and partnership with? Did your country from the ground up, come forth and told you to fight for freedom or freedom? It is men. Ruthless, selfish men who want the riches of this world. Nothing wrong in wanting and attaining such massive wealth. You always question the means of collating such wealth but is it not what you would've wanted? Would you have said no to such magnitude? Perhaps, you might deny in the current day but when you realize that selfishness is mandatory to survival, you would have gladly nodded your head. Fear not, I'm with you. I would have said yes sir myself. We're only going to live once, so we think. Might as well live an extravagant, luxurious life.

Selfishness may have divided the world but selflessness will never rectify that damage. It will always be low in numbers. Best if it stays that way. Unless you have a shit load of money to waste and you're living a uneventful life and want to start a charitable organization, selflessness is not for you. For fuck's sake, you gain nothing. Peace of mind? Fuck no. Having miserable people suffocating you endlessly with their mundane, heartbreaking life stories are not going to give you inner peace. Sitting there, listening to their pathetic tales isn't going to give you a spiritual uplift. No, the gods won't favour you for that. Admittedly, you may become renowned and famous. Were you expecting something else? You knew you were going to get the recognition anyway. Come one, quit denying it. You may try and refuse but the critics will call you names. Will that not bring you out of your seat and into the outside? All that attention and fame will get to you. You will primarily live to maintain your name. Any fuck up you do and that will end your road to spiritual enhancement. Go ahead and proclaim that you're not selfish at all here. Do try. Deep down inside, you know that you're somewhat selfish. Be it in the smallest of quantities but it is true. Nothing you can do about it. Everyone is selfish. Once you've learnt to accept that divine truth, perhaps you will know what to do. Where to go from here and how to accomplish what you've wanted. As with all things, everything needs a balance. Rather than denying your selfish self, accept it with open arms but avoid drowning into the pool of selfishness. If that happens, it may have disastrous consequences but you already knew that the moment you indulged in self-realization. Nothing you can't handle, really.

So, start today. Live a new found selfish life. At least, finish what you need to do for yourself. Never mind if it is at the expense of others. I'm sure they wouldn't mind when they have realized it too. That is how the others would have you do it. That is how others have done it. That is how others will do it. That is how others must do it. Stop denying knowledge when it has come to you. Do not be left behind. Do not be fooled. Dare to be different. Dare to break away from traditionalist behaviours and patterns. Mould yourself to accept any form of criticism. Everyone you know will be happy you've realized the real you. They will stop advising you that you're being too nice and selfless to people. Do you not remember the close ones who mention that all the time? Give them some credit. They did know what they were talking about at that time. Perhaps, not to this extend but you should get the point. If the close ones mock you, you will retaliate valiantly. You will inform them that this is what they've wanted of you. You will inform them that this is the reality. Smile at their startled look. They will smile along later on, if not now. Remember, that you have nothing to fear in that aspect except yourself.