Choices

Suppose you were given a choice to tread two paths. One, a life of controlled happiness where everything your parents want you to do has to accomplished by you failing which you're quick to be disowned. And the other where happiness is measured by events that occur in your life periodically but most uncertainly. Such happiness is of utmost importance to you. Which would you choose? Have we really been given a choice to decide what we want to do when we reach a certain age in our lives or has everything been predetermined?

By predetermined, I mean our parents deciding things for us to benefit their happiness. Of course, as parents they would reduce you to a nanoscale and have supreme rights over you. Not forgetting that they would jump at every opportunity to stop you from growing up and always endearingly address you as their loved ones. They blatantly will lie that they love you and care for you and want the best for you. But sure they do. No, I mean really they do. But most often they're concerned of what someone else would have to comment about you as it will affect their honor. We know parents these days are not like that except that we say that to merely convince ourselves. Parents try too hard to adapt to modernization. Everything they see that which is not within their control and advancement to them is being modern. So to curb such extra-terrestrial activities from affecting us, they mould us from ground up to ensure that we grow up according to their world. How they perceive the world to be and how everything that is evil in their eyes is automatically accepted as evil elsewhere. This is all in their benefit as I've mentioned earlier but they will deceive you with their love and say it is for your own good. Not having a choice in what you want to do is somehow good for you in their eyes. Catch is, if you realize their evil, okay noble intentions, the path that you're going to travel is going to be a bumpy one. Be prepared to be admonished for everything that doesn't concern you. Slight variations in your examination results affect their blood pressure. Cool friends are always the parent's enemy. The homely, I-will-not-masturbate kind of friends is what they would want you to have. Even your friends have to be screened before you're given full administrative rights. If all goes well and you score well with the girl in glass, exams I mean, they will love you and brag to others about how their child is God's blessing to them. One little fuck up and out comes the belt or sometimes the ever popular rattan stick. Kinky as it may seem, it's not something that you'd want to end up getting whipped with. Nothing creamy there. To add to that, if you start to fuck up, they will curse you first, and then say that you've been cursed. What's up with that anyway? They would be the embarrassment in the family and their high or low flying society. They will have nothing to say when the extravagant ones meet up for high tea. They will become ultimately humiliated. All thanks to you. Unless they somehow, by grace, realize that you're after all something called a human and can't do superhuman feats all the time. But before such realizations hit them, it is their ego that speaks to them first. In colour mind you. When everything goes down the drain, they finally disown you. Okay maybe I'm being a little extreme here but it has happened before. Not to me but many I know. And no this is not a solemn tribute to them. One should feel sympathy for a child with parents like that. It's like having all the 'luxuries' in the world and yet everything is precisely calculated. After a certain age, sleep time shouldn't exist but in certain families, practices are regimental than we can believe. No wonder the boys from these families seem to have a love for the army in more ways than one. When the time comes and you finally make it and marry someone that looks like a half baked fuck face to them, they scorn with you words your mum has never heard before. First they blame you and then they blame your spouse for the misery that you have put them through. What the fuck did we do to deserve such treatment? Nothing. Just being born in such a household. Fun at times when times are good. It is no surprise that children from such families turn to the dark side. Can't blame them. They seek solace in 'new discoveries' that they have been sheltered from for so long. That is why everything would seem so new to them. To them, this is what they've been longing for. The freedom to do what they wish. Once they have 'matured' in such a fashion, they do things to spite their parents, knowing well the effect it will have on them. Pressure rises, casualties occur and the jailbird sings. The perfect ending couldn't have been well put. But that all could be avoided. Writing on such a grand canyon of a topic will leave me here for a lifetime but I have to move on to other scenario.

So your parents are most of the modern type, well according to their definition of course. So they care about your well being and do whatever is in their power to help you attain that goal of yours even if it's against their wishes. They tend to see that what you want in life is important to you. Blessed you must be if such parents bore you. But is such freedom really beneficial to you? How much do you know about what is out there for you to make a well informed decision? This is regardless of which age group you fall in. You may seek parental advice but they will refrain from giving you advice knowing well that you don't do too well with them. They often wait for you to fall and then give you their piece of mind. Accepting what they have to say all depends on the specific scenario that you're facing. You do realize that their experience will help you but your ambitious or rather pompous nature will stop you from learning. You are determined to learn things the hard way and they don't go according to plan; you crumble and stumble upon every imaginable dead end. Still the good times exist as and when you make them to be. Misery may strike you at any time because you haven't reached the capability to overcome them. And when it does happen, you try not to appear weak in front of your parents. But if they're the intelligent sort, they'd realize but still they would leave you be. The vast difference in the concept between the modern you and your old parents may sometimes overwhelm you. Differences in opinions may result in conflicts and you worry more about yourself because you're aware that they're not going to be around for long and what they expect from you doesn't matter. You know that by doing things to momentarily appease them in their golden years isn't going to help you in the long run. Sometimes your comprehending parents wish you were the child they dreamt of but you have other matters to think of. It may seem pretty unfair that you may chuck them aside and be more concerned about your own goals. Educated beyond your ability, salary beyond your expectation and a spouse everyone would die to get hooked up with. Your life may seem fruitful to you and if it's appealing to you, your parents are prepared to understand. But what happens when you start to fuck up knowing well you have all the freedom that they have given you? What if you flirt with the dark side often and end up causing shame to them? Some situations can be avoided. Specific ones, which I need not mention cannot escape. If shit happens, you're answerable for it. As long you don't fuck up anything that causes them grief in this time, it should be okay, right?

The interesting thing about this topic is that the experience with the former is pretty fixed because the parents have been accustomed to their lifestyle and refuse to grow out of it. They have been told to live their lives in such a manner. They were also told to raise their children in order. The difference between this and the latter is that flexibility is there. If the parents understand where you're coming from and you don't do something that drastic, they would rejoice that they had a child like you. Else, they'd disown you like those damn motherfuckers out there. Choosing the second option may seem like the better choice in every imaginable scenario but it is the people who matter in the end as they make or break the choice. It is the feeble human mind that needs to adapt to the surrounding and not vice versa. It is the feeble human mind that has to learn that whatever choice that is made, it is beneficial to both parties. Don't forget to be selfish of course but let others gain as well. Stop the autocracy. This may lead to a better but never a perfect life for both parents and the child. However do not expect things to be colorful all the time. For what is life if it is mundane and routine?

Tags: provoking thoughts, personal thoughts, life

Say What?

Hello. Perhaps one of the most common greeting when you meet someone new or someone you know. Even when you acknowledge them. But the thought that has occupied my mind of late is that, why the necessity to greet someone? Have we been cultured to do so or are we just doing so that the other party won't count us in as being obnoxious? No matter the definition or rationale, it is rather inevitable that greeting someone has become commonplace. So much that when one fails to do so, one is looked at differently. However, we do at times put ourselves in predicaments where greeting someone upon first contact becomes far from mandatory. On first touch, the point is put across. Very often, in such situations, both parties are aware of the matter at hand. Unless, of course, if one of them chooses to ignore the question, then this scenario becomes null. That aside, let us assume that both parties have communicated willingly without having the need to greet one another. Let's call it mutual understanding for argument's sake. Not that we are going to argue about it but you get the drift. So when the conversation has ended, the need for the parting greet arises.

That begs the question, why the utmost necessity to say a parting greet to someone when they're leaving but it is optional to greet someone upon first contact? Are you able to properly end a conversation without having the need to bid farewell to the person? Are you able to leave without saying anything and performing any form of gesture? Seems pretty impossible when you put yourself in such a situation. One may claim that such a feat can be done but when you're the person involved, are you able to do so? Would you take the risk of being called snobbish? What is true is that people are going to end up being alarmed at your actions. This is one social behaviour which has been recognized everywhere that failure to comply with these rules and regulations makes you a hardened criminal.

When the time comes and you meet anyone you know, just walk up to them and get straight to the point. Wait for the lengthy pause that will occur to signify the end of another (fruitful) conversation. Then just walk away without saying anything to them. Let someone else be there with you observing every reaction that is released from the one you're making contact with. Let your friend tell you, if possible take snapshots, of how alarmed and lost they may look when you just leave the place. Sure you may have a chuckle or two but in the long run, you're going to have a lot of people question your new found self. Lectures and advice will also be sailing your way, though far from being smooth. You may even upset and hurt quite a few people but you're not supposed to feel for them. Rather, question their need to maintain such a cultured society. Tell them some kind of bullshit that you're breaking away from traditional beliefs. Tell them that you've attained nirvana in a way that only you and your kind can understand them. In short, they will end up being irritated. Good news for you, isn't it? Well, you should be rejoicing when others feel miserable. Okay maybe I'm taking this a little too far.

So the next time someone like me is going to walk up to you to say something, be wary. Prepare yourself for extreme shock. Don't end up being the last to laugh. But when you've been there and you know how it feels like, you could do yourself a favour and return the kindness to someone else. Show them how much you love them by being as conceited and obnoxious as possible. They would love you, for sure. If they don't, think of it as their loss. Everyone wants someone else to be different. So make that change today. In time to come, you will realize that 'hi-bye' friends will no longer exist. The world will be a safer place. Trust me. I only speak the truth but I seldom express it in words.

Tags: provoking thoughts, personal thoughts, humor, life

Grandma's Blueberry Pie

You have committed that act, yet again. You do it with such religious fervour. It was as if paper cuts were exhilarating to you. You have chosen this path and promised yourself not to look back. Your conscience begs for your fullest attention. But all you do is allow yourself to be penetrated deeper and harder. It was as if he was smitten by your gargantuan breasts. Spellbound and asinine, he knew not where he was headed. Maybe he knows. You would want him to know. You lured him to you with your empathy. You loved everything about me then and now you despise everything about me. Yet you had the heart to allow yourself to make the same mistake. You do not think of me. Perhaps you do. Perhaps thoughts of hatred surround your lower body. Disgusted you may be in having me in you again. I deserved it but I no longer deserve it. I am only human. You have always sought after the imperfect perfection or was it perfect imperfection? It doesn't matter anymore. You have travelled the choppy roads before. Do you deny what you have become? Do you seek to hide that in the end sex was all you wanted? You live a life of denial and lies and yet you fault me for being a bastard. You expected the perfect imperfection. What you ended up with then was no more than a fulfilment you thought you had found. You concluded that was the end. That your miserable life had some meaning to it. Where were those words which you held onto so dearly? Do they not prick you anymore? I reckon it doesn't. You have found for yourself a new prick. Orgasms aplenty? Better be if not he isn't the best choice. You should seek the bigger, harder and stronger one amongst us. I wasn't your Sex God. Never was. Scrawny and puny I am. You've always had better. Thanks for stroking my ego then. The ride was fun but the obstacles were overwhelming. You claim to have forgiven me but truthfully you have not. You are one who lies to yourself to appease yourself. Do not speak to me about truthfulness. Didn't you stereotype men like how you always have? Have you found the perfect man? Jesus would be happy if you had found him but you completely missed because he doesn't exist. Just what on earth were you thinking that you even allowed him to touch you so soon? Mishaps occur. Does that really justify another man being in you in such short span? Do you feel the itch and miss being pitched? Finally ended up getting hitched not realizing you will be ditched even before the real orgasms start. But that you will never see. It is your hatred for me that has brought you to such a volatile state. I gladly accept the blame. Do you enjoy many manly parts on you and in you? Are you finding one who fits perfectly into your black hole? The perfect man doesn't exist. Stop looking for one and quit thinking you have found him. You have only found someone who succumbs himself to your utmost brilliance. He is enjoying every tissue in your body more than you will ever imagine. Who doesn't mind a free fuck in the name of a relationship? I did. You did. You always used that to want me back yet you vehemently deny that it wasn't about sex. Well, there you go. Face the consequences now. It is you who put up the act of suffering in that period and now you're oozing with ecstasy? When will you learn to think for yourself and stop being so naive? You claim I'm irresponsible and immature when it is you who fits those qualities. Failure to co-operate in your wants and needs doesn't qualify me as a prick. So fuck you. I wish I could but I wouldn't. You think you're enjoying life now? You have yet to see what is going to come to you. History has this habit of repeating itself. I will then see what you and him will do. What you will do to him. What he will do to you. It will almost be fun. Sadistic as I am, if you turn around and want me, I will fuck you and leave you again. I have done it before. I fear not repeating myself once more. Re-enactments are always welcome. Just spread the words and I will spread your legs. Fucking sex hungry bitch. Quit your decent one man woman love affair. If you're a one man woman, you'd stick to one cock and not many. They're all waiting out there somewhere for that opportunity to fuck you. You've wanted to fuck them too. That's why they love to fuck you because you're a fucking horny bitch. Yes, you're fuckable. Tits and ass. A cock hungry blowjob queen. Kudos to you. Fuck you bitch. Fuck you. Fuck.

I'm kidding. I still love you. Bitch.

Tags: provoking thoughts, personal thoughts, life

Life Signs

Expose yourself to others and let them know who you really are. That is what many of us fail to heed. We put on many facades in our lives, far too many times. We often have our personal reasons or vendettas but sometimes it may result in us doing so just to spite someone. But we still go ahead and do it. Do we not care? Looking at one perspective, we don't. Very often, if not always, we only care about ourselves. Who will come forth and deny this factual statement? We do things purely for our own benefit. The altruist doesn't exist. Well, it wouldn't be too far fetched to say, never existed. If they do, they're lying. Yet, we often try to prove to others that we're being selfless. Unfortunately, a lot of them believe you. They trust your genuine nature. A minor percentile of those you know will see through you. But it is we who make ourselves out to be who we want to be. How is that in any way natural? Each path will result in us being different. No matter what the directive or objective, we're still selfish. But doing so isn't a sin. Everyone does it and why must it become something carnal? The one who mocks your selfish nature is being selfish too. He or she wants to prove to you that he or she is being the greater person since they're unlike you. But it is you who is unlike them.

As much you try, you're being yourself. Isn't that what everyone is raving out and about? For someone to accept who you really are, isn't it about accepting all their flaws? Isn't that what all of you want? Well, you have to learn to grow with it. But being selfish isn't a flaw. As a matter of fact, it's human nature. Feel free to disagree. Only you know what you're really hiding. So what use is being selfless? Just to make yourself and the other party feel good for that period of time? Perhaps, it does have some benefit for others. You're at the losing end. Try being selfless for a long time to come and see what happens to you. You start to feel less appreciated and more wanted. Wanted in the sense, where people love to take advantage of your sensitive nature. Try that with being selfish. You stand to gain. Never mind that the other party is feeling the pinch. They too will slowly come to their senses without realizing it. They too will become selfish. Then they will point their fingers at you to fault you. Have you become the sole reason for their change? You may choose to gladly accept it. It is, in fact, what you wanted them to become. But aren't they really being themselves now as compared to putting on a false front all this while? They will choose to blame you for their transformation as long you're around. Perhaps, even after you leave. They will always reflect that they've become an animal like you but they will never comprehend that it is they who have been lying to themselves.

The selfish person prays to imaginary gods but sleeps with real devils. They roam around earth to make love and yet kill the ones who doesn't see eye to eye with them. They preach about peace yet they wage war. They're civilized yet they behave in barbaric fashion. They're friends with you yet they backstab you. Parables aplenty. We are such people. We may despise such things but we do them all the time. So let us cease finding fault with others. Are we not imperfect? Why do we constantly criticize others when we're not and can never be perfect? Perhaps we should learn to accept that, whatever happens around us is for a reason even if we're not capable of understanding it. I was once told, 'war destroys, war creates'. Makes a whole lot of sense to me. Sometimes we have the need to destroy something useless or outdated and make something new or improvise. That is how we have progressed. That is how it will be. If everyone was to fake selflessness, we wouldn't have moved forward in life. Everyone would be content with what they had. No one will branch forward. Civilization would have crumbled. Wars would never have happened and that would have caused a mess. Yes, a bigger mess would have happened if not for war. History may have been different but fuck that. No use arguing that it may have been different if people chose a different path. It has already happened. Quit bitching. Never mind that many lost their lives in the struggle. It's over. Don't fake your mourning for them. They probably weren't interested to fight anyway. All that manipulation to fight doesn't make you a real hero or martyr. Those that compel you to fight, want you to die for your country. Your country wasn't even yours to begin with. So who are you taking ownership and partnership with? Did your country from the ground up, come forth and told you to fight for freedom or freedom? It is men. Ruthless, selfish men who want the riches of this world. Nothing wrong in wanting and attaining such massive wealth. You always question the means of collating such wealth but is it not what you would've wanted? Would you have said no to such magnitude? Perhaps, you might deny in the current day but when you realize that selfishness is mandatory to survival, you would have gladly nodded your head. Fear not, I'm with you. I would have said yes sir myself. We're only going to live once, so we think. Might as well live an extravagant, luxurious life.

Selfishness may have divided the world but selflessness will never rectify that damage. It will always be low in numbers. Best if it stays that way. Unless you have a shit load of money to waste and you're living a uneventful life and want to start a charitable organization, selflessness is not for you. For fuck's sake, you gain nothing. Peace of mind? Fuck no. Having miserable people suffocating you endlessly with their mundane, heartbreaking life stories are not going to give you inner peace. Sitting there, listening to their pathetic tales isn't going to give you a spiritual uplift. No, the gods won't favour you for that. Admittedly, you may become renowned and famous. Were you expecting something else? You knew you were going to get the recognition anyway. Come one, quit denying it. You may try and refuse but the critics will call you names. Will that not bring you out of your seat and into the outside? All that attention and fame will get to you. You will primarily live to maintain your name. Any fuck up you do and that will end your road to spiritual enhancement. Go ahead and proclaim that you're not selfish at all here. Do try. Deep down inside, you know that you're somewhat selfish. Be it in the smallest of quantities but it is true. Nothing you can do about it. Everyone is selfish. Once you've learnt to accept that divine truth, perhaps you will know what to do. Where to go from here and how to accomplish what you've wanted. As with all things, everything needs a balance. Rather than denying your selfish self, accept it with open arms but avoid drowning into the pool of selfishness. If that happens, it may have disastrous consequences but you already knew that the moment you indulged in self-realization. Nothing you can't handle, really.

So, start today. Live a new found selfish life. At least, finish what you need to do for yourself. Never mind if it is at the expense of others. I'm sure they wouldn't mind when they have realized it too. That is how the others would have you do it. That is how others have done it. That is how others will do it. That is how others must do it. Stop denying knowledge when it has come to you. Do not be left behind. Do not be fooled. Dare to be different. Dare to break away from traditionalist behaviours and patterns. Mould yourself to accept any form of criticism. Everyone you know will be happy you've realized the real you. They will stop advising you that you're being too nice and selfless to people. Do you not remember the close ones who mention that all the time? Give them some credit. They did know what they were talking about at that time. Perhaps, not to this extend but you should get the point. If the close ones mock you, you will retaliate valiantly. You will inform them that this is what they've wanted of you. You will inform them that this is the reality. Smile at their startled look. They will smile along later on, if not now. Remember, that you have nothing to fear in that aspect except yourself.

Tags: provoking thoughts, personal thoughts, humor, life

Beginning

The end is near. Will you run? Will you hide? Will it get you? Will you get it? Will you get to it? Will it get to you? Questions. Questions. Questions. Answers. Answers. Answers. None. None. None. You panic. You run. It's dark. Cold. You shiver. You stop short of breath. You reach the gate. You struggle to open it. You tear yourself apart. Limbs galore. Ripped clothes. Sweat. Colder. You gasp for breath. You widen your eyes. Your belief is stronger now. You break open the gate. You break free. Freedom at last. Freedom. You rejoice. It rains. You're drenched. Your clothes reveal you. The real you. The free you. You race to the end. The end that you seek. The end beyond freedom. But they have come. They got there before you. You freeze in fear. They eye your every part. You feel the chill. You were fooled. This isn't the end. Your freedom is over. They will get you. They feel you. You feel them. They give chase. You can't move. They get nearer. Nearer. They pounce. You fall. You know they will finish you. This is the end. Your end. But they don't. They pick you up. Shelter you with an umbrella. They embrace you. You feel disgust. They soothe you. You slowly feel comfort. Warmth. The same warmth you have been longing for. It's real now. Everything is real. Everything they said was true. You close your eyes and dream. You feel them lift you over their heads. They sing your praises. They gently sit you on their shoulders. They fling the umbrella. You feel the rain. You embrace it. Warm. The rain is warm. They sense your delight. They guide you to the end. Suddenly it stops. The rain. Everyone starts to ponder. Why? Why now? Why must the time come now? The sun is out. Cold. You feel cold once again. You shiver again. They drop you and run. You scream for them. They do not hear you. They cannot hear you. They will not come to save you. They disappear in the light. You feel tightness in your chest. You collapse. Hours past. You feel warmth. The same warmth again. You slowly open your eyes. Angels you think. You are wrong. Light. Bright. Warm. Not cold. You smile at yourself. You look out to the horizon. You tear. You are safe again. The blanket comforts you. The naked you. The real you. You throw the blanket aside. You are naked. You are real. You are you. You see a dimmed door. You enjoy your new found nakedness. The reality. You walk to the door and open it. They are there. Everyone. Everyone you know. Everyone you love. Everyone who loves you. They are all naked. They are all real. They are all themselves. You touch all their breasts. Warmth. The same warmth. You jump up and down in ecstasy. They kiss you. They fondle you. They arouse you. You kiss them. You fondle them. You arouse them. They sleep with you. You sleep with them. Sweat. Warmth. You close your eyes. You sleep. You wake up suddenly. It's a dream. You remember it's a dream. You feel them still embracing you. You embrace you. They walk you to the end. They kiss you. They fondle you. They arouse. You kiss them. You fondle them. You arouse them. They sleep with you. You sleep with them. Sweat. Warmth. You smile. You close your eyes. They lay beside you. You are the world. You are the universe. You rule everything. You laugh at them. The critics. The fighters. The fuckers. The killers. You have won. You have done it. You have conquered your fear. You wake up. They wake up. It's dark again. You have been fooled again. Will you not learn? Will you not succumb to your physical desires? Will you let the devil rule you? Will you? Will you? Learn. Fight. Struggle. Oppress. Kill. Annihilate. Eradicate. Die. All of you. They have come. They have come to get you. They will find you. Kill you. Eat you. Destroy you. You will lose. You are alone. Naked. Real. You. Run. Run away. Run away from everything. No. You fight. Run. You fight harder. Run. You push your luck. Run. You almost give up. Run. No. Run. No. Run. You fight it harder. Stay. Yes. Succeed them. They have found you. They race towards you. You race towards them. Kill. Kill. Kill. Die. Die. Die. It's over. They are dead. It's done. You have finished what you have started. It's time to go. You move before they come again. You know they will find you. Evil finds evil. You will forever be in this game. You run away. Run. Yes. Run. Yes. Run. Yes. You speed up. You get exhausted. You slow down. Catch your breath. Slowly. Take your time. Calm down. Nowhere to go. Dead end. Have you been fooled yet again? Will this not end? Why am I being tortured? Finish it for once. No. This will go on. Everyday. Nothing you do will stop this. If you're displeased, go away. If you find it pleasing stay. But you have tried going away. This always happens. Each time a different loop. Where to from here? You turn back. They are not there. But they will come. They have smelt you. You race back to where you came from. You turn left. Go straight. No. Turn right. You go straight. You turn left. Right. Straight. Left. Right. You stop. You are not lost. You arrive at where you first started. You can't remember how you got there. You keep running in different directions. Everywhere is the same. You are in a maze. A never ending maze. Every thing around you is identical. Everything is symmetrical. You see no pattern. You cannot find a pattern. For everything around you is random. Random but perfect. Perfection has no end. You scream in fear. You are alone. They will come to get you. They are coming. They are near. They smell you. See you. They will get you. They get you. It's over. You end is here. The end is near. No. For this is the beginning.

Tags: provoking thoughts, personal thoughts, life

Left Stranded

A sad, sad state. That is the state she has put him in. He will remember all that he has done. He tries, till today, to comprehend why he is being loathed, so much. Perhaps he knows. Perhaps he is running away from himself. Perhaps he will discover himself one day. What can he do? What will he do? What must he do? Endless questions run in his mind. Infinite answers all await to burst out from his bubble. But he withdrew himself from thinking too much. Yet his thoughts are filled. Filled with evil. He grabs a pen and pens down his perplexed thoughts. All he sees on that piece of paper are scratch and sketch marks. He grimaces at himself. He feels like picking up the phone to sass the other party. He dials. He scribbles something on the paper again. Somewhat a pastel is formed. Engaged tone after a continuous ring. The call is probably avoided. He presses the redial button. Pause. Engaged tone, again.

He slams the receiver down in frustration. He mumbles something to himself. Something even he couldn't fathom. He smirks at himself. The message ring tone on his mobile goes off. From the same number he has been trying to dial. Trembling, he views the message in anxiety. The information he had received moments ago, was true. It was what he had already expected. The message was from a third party. Probably a relative or relation. A drop of tear rolled down his cheek and remained there, waiting for its owner to make the slightest movement. The free fall was stopped short by the bright contrast from the phone's LCD. Wiping it away and his eyes, he threw the mobile onto his bed and picks up the receiver from his home phone and makes a very important call. The most important call he may ever make in his life, for now.

After a short, crisp conversation, he packs his everyday stuff and walks out the door in a flash. As he locks the door and prepares to look up to see where he is going, he sees someone. Before he could open his mouth to speak, he knew no words were there. He drops the keys. That someone picks it up even before he could move an inch. Struggling to show a sign of good gesture, he reaches out his hand. She grabs him by the arm and urges him to make haste. They hail a cab and and zoom off to where they're headed. They have less than an hour before everything ends. The only words spoken during the entire journey was informing the cab driver the location. They sit apart, distancing themselves, as usual.

They rush out of the cab, nearly forgetting to make payment. Before he could even pull out his more than feminine purse, she snatches the change from the cab driver's wrinkled hands. They slow down their pace as they enter the residence. The magnitude of the place overwhelms them. Her soft hand holding his own somehow leaves him in a very comfortable zone. But he confabulates with her, for the first time, that they're here for an entirely different reason. She nods and acknowledges him. They arrive at the door in sheer consternation. She slaps his hand as he tries to turn the knob. She grabs her hanky and slowly turns the knob. The door remained unlocked as he had expected more people to turn up. The door creaked sending the signal that new entry has been made into the room. Heads turn in angst and indignation. He looks at his watch. Seven minutes to five. He had been thinking all this while that he had made it. He was puzzled as to why he was stared at. Then it hit him.

He had ended up in the wrong abode. His lack of familiarity with his surroundings has lead him to her place. He fucked himself for thinking that she was coming with him to where he was going. He was so enthralled by her features and the alluring eau de parfum that he had failed to listen to the location that she had told the cab driver. She had wanted him for herself. To do something for her. Something that she knows only he is capable of. But it was the wrong time. Was she not aware of what had happened? Was she uninformed or was it his gullible nature? He plucked up the courage to open his mouth to speak but he couldn't utter a word. She sensed his nervousness. She beckoned him to speak for the very first time. Will he leave this jaw-dropping beauty knowing he will get something in return for what he is to do for her or disappoint his ego and leave to where he was actually supposed to head to?

He gaped at his watch. He had always liked this watch. Three minutes to five. Even the God he believes in couldn't possibly create a miracle now to get him where he was supposed to be. He took a deep breath and explained to her the predicament as quickly as he could. She comprehended him, as usual. He was pleased by her response. But what she was going to say next would leave him breathless. She denied him to leave even though she had the means to fly him off by helicopter to reach his location in five minutes. Two minutes delay would make a lot of difference, he had thought earlier. But now, she declined his proposition to get going. He had no alternative. He will never make it there, ever.

Everyone there pondered about his absence, or in their newly formed opinion, ignorance. They had noticed him being indifferent towards them of late. But they had forgiven him for they were about to rejoice. Rumors start to spread across the hall. Him not being there has led them to make a mockery out of him. Two minutes to five. The hour approaches. Their excitement is beyond their acting leader's control. They create a rumpus. Tantrums are thrown everywhere. Their acting leader bellows to his fellow men and women, all of whom are in their undergarments now. One minute to five. One more minute before everyone gets naked and wild. One more minute before the sacrificial ritual starts. Fifty-nine seconds and counting.

She was securely tied down by ropes which have already started to cut beyond the blisters. Stripped naked and positioned as if she is into bondage, she was gagged. Countless hands grabbed every part of her body that they could get their hands on. Molested and violated, she knew this was the end of her life. She knows how the ritual starts and ends. All the males will violently hump into her. It was and never could be constituted as rape because everyone who took an oath to join this elite group knew what was in store for them. They enjoyed sex more than many of their counterparts. The females will fuck her before the males proceed. Once everyone including the acting leader and the leader are done inserting their semen into her, they butcher her into bits, starting from the toes, while she watches. No one in this elite group has ever cried in pain. Everyone, even the adolescent, truly enjoyed and believed this was their moment of reaching God. Their God.

Five seconds remain. Four. Three. Two. One. Her time is up. She tries to put on a happy facade but they see through her evil intentions. Failure to show happiness in this cause is their Devil. They give her one last chance and pour the holy water all over her. They see that she is truly happy now. Everyone is already naked by that instance. The stage is set for the biggest orgy. Moans fill the room of the building, miles away from the nearest expressway. No one would hear and know a single thing. The first female steps forward, delighted beyond words. She rubs herself in oil and proceeds to rub herself all over the special one, sucking, kissing and licking as she pleases. She steps back and slowly goes down on her. The crowd cheers on. The sight is breathtaking beyond words.

He looked at his watch again. He knew the time is up. Her time. He has failed to get there. How could he not be there? For he was their leader. The one who started this elite group. He was their Bob Marley of sorts. But this time, he wasn't suppose to go there to finish fucking the special one. He had other intentions. He had come clean. He wanted to put an end to this. He could force himself to endure another female on this female but not another male. For the one who was being fucked by another female, right at that moment, was none other than his wife.

To be continued anytime if anyone at all shows interest in this story.

Tags: personal thoughts

Spaces In Between

The tiny eyes. The innocent lips. That alluring face. That look. A cold, hard stare. Something that you'd want to walk away from. You walk away in apprehension. But the feel of the stare is still within you as you scurry away. You turn around after a distance and those eyes aren't there anymore. You scour the area desperately to seek, again, what you came for. But it is no longer there. No longer within your sight. You start to feel anxious. Your eyes zoom in and out and widen its scope. You start to squint. You see a faint image. A familiar image. The image you have been seeing for so long. You hasten your pace to walk towards that image. Your vision gets clearer with every step. Your footsteps start getting wider apart. You see that which you have chosen to avoid. Every time you inch towards those eyes, you fear. Fear yourself. Fear what you will do to yourself. Fear what you will do to those eyes. Fear what will become of you when those eyes scrutinize you. But each and every time you pluck up the courage to stand your ground, you tremble. You start to feel as if you're about to piss all over yourself but your ego takes over and stops that from happening.

You pause for a second to catch your breath. You try and correct your vision. You embrace yourself, somehow, for what is to become of you and those eyes. Then you realize something. You've been spotted. You start to look around, all fidgety. No one is there. Not anymore. But, but, just a matter of seconds ago, you were swarmed with people. So where did everyone go? You slap the back of your head hoping this is a dream that you'd wake up from. Nothing happens. Those eyes move towards you. You blink in despondency. You rub your eyes. Your body is hampered. Your vision is cloudy. Your mind is shackled. Your close your eyes and hope it will all go away. You feel sweat all over your body. You feel those eyes looking straight at you from close proximity. So close, you can hear the breathing down your neck. You feel your lips brushed by another. It was the same feeling but something was foreign about it this time. You bother about it not and enjoy what you think is your lucky break.

Suddenly you feel nothing. Not being stared at. No one breathing down your neck. No lips brushing by. Silence. For five whole seconds. Then the noise is overwhelming. Traffic is heavier than usual. You're wet. From the heavy downpour that has been there all this while. You didn't feel it till now. You slowly open your eyes. You see a pair of eyes staring at you in amusement. You'd swear you've seen these eyes before. A smile appears on that face. You feel comforted that this person knows you but you fail to make sense of who that is. You look around, hoping to see those eyes. Nothing. The environment, ambiance, atmosphere and circumstance all seem completely different to you now. Irrelevant perhaps. You can hear the background noise but what these eyes tell you fall on deaf eyes. You try to clear your head. It works.

You and those eyes, both naked on the bed. Conjoined and making love. You smile to yourself. You start to feel the raindrops no more. You're home. Sheltered by love. By the familiar eyes. By the god sent umbrella. You're shoved aside to start walking. You look down onto the floor. Watching each drop of rain splattering on itself. You visualize the love making session in your head and start to feel warm. The warmth that these familiar eyes is showing on you. You fail to differentiate the reality from what is running on your mind. You know you've arrived at a room. Drenched. Despondent. Drugged. The umbrella is set aside. Buttons on your shirt come off, one at a time. Your jeans come off too. You're draped in a towel. Off comes your boxers. Your hair gets dried. You've been seated on the bed. Your body is getting dry. You start to visualize further. You feel the same warmth, down under. You chuckle. You moan. You fall asleep.

The hours have past. Your eyes open, slowly. You see the familiar eyes naked and getting dressed. Before you can wonder if you've just fucked your good friend, you wake up in a shock. You've been left stranded. In a cold, dark alley. Naked. No clothes, no money. Then you start to clear up. You feel the same warmth. You wake up. For real. It's a bright, sunny day. Those eyes that you've come looking for will never be seen anymore. That was the past that still haunts you every night. Every night before you hesitantly made love to these eyes. It became a routine. Something that you're still struggling to cope with. Just like every day, you're relieved that it is over, for now, for today.

You turn to other side of the bed. The familiar eyes smile at you again. You smile in return. You know you're home and safe with the one you love. You've left no spaces in between.

Tags: life, personal thoughts, provoking thoughts