Insane Mind Power: How to save the world - Part - III

Okay, so you're all geared up to save the world now or later, right? Wrong! No, I don't mean that you don't possess the capability to save the world. I am just here to say that you don't just pack a few stuff and pretend you're some super-hero and read this post and do the whole saving the whole thing. I mean, like, what are you, an idiot? Straighten up, man! There is just so much to do. Here's what we will plan out. Hey, I mean, if you're going to save the world, you need a plan, right? So hold on to your horses and grab that pen (working one, please) and paper and let's write down those world saving pointers! Right on, mate!

Right. And you actually read all that and almost believed I didn't have the much anticipated answer? I mean, if you were actually reading this far, you were waiting for some mambo jambo or miracle, right? Well, here it goes. The way to save the world is in you. There. I've said it. Yes, in you, you dweeb. Oh, you don't get the whole in you thing, right? Just as I thought. I mean you came all the way here to find the answer to saving the world, right? I almost forgot my saviour status. So I will hold your hand and let you know what I meant by in you. Time to get a little serious here, so pick up the phone and get ready to dial your local ambulance hotline in case you're about to flip.

Okay, okay! Enough already! On with it! Sure thing, mate. You're the boss. Right. So, as I was saying, the way to save the world is in you. Literally in you. Somewhere in that amoeba or sub-atomic particle in you. No, don't cut yourself up to find out. I'm dead serious. Some people will literally take what I am saying, literally. Yes, I meant literally in you. Not physically in you. It's in the way you think. Oh no! Not another positive minded save yourself and save the world theory you scream! Dude, you're here to friggin' save the world. You clean out your friggin' thoughts and acts first! You can't go and save the world if you're a closet masturbation expert, right? I don't know what that means either but you get the point. Rest assured, I am not here to sell you some ebook for $97 or $47 and have an extra special super discount page for $7 or take a 30 day course for $997, $497 or have an extra special super discount page for the $297 one-of-a-kind-super-advanced-never-heard-before-but-was-used-by-people-
ages-ago-and-used-by-all-the-top-internet-marketing-gurus-
or-experts-kind-of-meditation with my iron,steel, metal, silver, gold or whatever metallic substance I can find 30, 60 or 90 days money back guarantee for you to get attuned in first before saving the world. (Was a really long sentence, I know.) The world doesn't have 30 days. The world only has its people. The world only has You. Touche? Yeah, I know.

Here is the your ultimate world saving plan. Approved by every known world saving guru out there on and off the internet! Heck, it's even approved by Superman! Now you have absolutely no fear of doing your part to save the world! The gist of it is simple. It's always simple, isn't it? You clean out your thoughts and acts starting from today. Yes, no secret mantras involved! No one is asking you to be a saint or hermit. Those are for guys and girls who wish to look like Himalayan monkeys and don't wish to get laid, like ever. Do a small good deed today. Like read this blog and tell someone who really deserves help. Just reading this post won't help him/her, you moron! I mean, tell them the good stuff I am writing out here. Hey, this is hard work, you know. It's not a sit down and meditate and expect the rest of the world to help you concept. You help yourself first. You be a better person from today onwards. You treat that little bitch in the park with kindness. No, not hit it on with that hot mama/milf. I meant the dog. You give your food, preferably leftovers, to your neighbour. Never mind if it is not halal if he/she is a Muslim. They usually won't eat it or give it away, anyway. It's the thought that counts. Yes, they have angels on your left and right to count your brownie points for you! Yay! How cool is that? Stop dreaming and listen up! You give that guy/girl on the streets who is faking an illness or a handicap and give him/her your last 10 dollars and pray to your favourite God, who looks much better than you by the way, that your good deed will come back to you in ten fold. Hey, karma, remember? What goes around comes around. Do not try that by throwing a knife or shooting a bullet at someone. That person will be dead and the wound or shot won't come back to you. Okay, maybe if you're a ghost lover, they might but ghosts have better things to do than to look ugly and haunt people.

At the end of 30 days like how they all like it, see how much a better person or loser you've become. If you're a better person, than good. See if you can be featured on your local TV show to advertise yourself and gain instant pop status! If you've become a loser, at least feel proud that your loss has resulted in something for the greater good. After all, it is always about the greater good. Every guru propagates that fact that you're one with the rest of the Universe. Sure you are. No really, you are. Just don't fuck it up for others cause you're only going to fuck it up for yourself. And no, I am not fucking kidding here. Now go ahead and dial that ambulance hotline and tell them that some deranged fella has given you instructions to follow but never asked you to buy anything. Or call your nearest child-loving priest or self-help line to seek further help. You've been served. Peace.

P.S. Nothing to see here. This part is usually the most noticed in any letter/post, eh? Yeap, you just proved it. Sheesh.