Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I've been labeled but I forgive you.

Excellent. There always has to be someone labeling you some time in your life. For some it happens frequently. For others, it is seldom. For me, it hasn't happened in a while, until recently. But it is quite puzzling when someone you're closely acquainted with does the same due to a misunderstanding. Or rather, a communication error. Speaks a lot about where I stand and where that someone sees me. What the fuck that person meant about me saving my own ass, I haven't a clue. That person seems to not want to reply via a form of communicative medium? With all due respect, that is a little disturbing. Just because the person didn't seem to get what they wanted at that point in time, doesn't constitute labeling someone. It is far from necessary. If you have a problem with the way I handle things, then speak to me. I tried to probe but no response thus far. And I have always had this person's best interest in my interest. And now I am labeled as such. I am disturbed. This is how things are handled. I have my own issues to handle as well. I am also bogged down with a few issues. If I had caused a delay in providing you with the information you had required, you speak of that issue. You don't speak of something which is unrelated because you're having some issues on your own. What kind of logical approach to problem solving is that? Criticize and condemn me all you want. I am open to such things but let it be for the issue at hand. Not send me a message and ask me to go decrypt something about getting the inner meaning if I have the caliber. I am not a psychic to know what you're rambling on about. In fact, I haven't a clue. Yet you made it seem like I committed the crime of the century. This better not be a method of escapism by blatantly blaming me for any of your shortcomings. I am sorry but I am also human. I also have issues at hand to tackle. Do I judge you or label you for your actions/inactions? Then what right do you have to label me as you wish? Please, act with an open heart. Don't be biased because of a previous incident which I was involved in. That is far from being a just human. And you acting this way is most disturbing. Here, I have deep respect and love for you, my friend. But you put across messages in such context. Sigh. Albeit, I have stayed away from practically everyone for a while now, I believe I know what I am doing and why I am doing it. It is absolutely necessary for me. I am a man. That is what men do when they have a major issue they need to settle. They go into their caves and remain silent. They back off from rest of the world until the issue is resolved. That is what I am trying to arrive at. It is a normal psychological behaviour for a male. At what rate I get over this ultimately depends on how fact I act on the solution that is yet evading me. But I believe it will come in the right time. I have screwed up way too many times and this is just another one of them. I need this space to re-evaluate my purpose in life. As I have mentioned before and will do it once again, I am sorry if my words came out wrong and it was not my intention to do so. But you failing to understanding and blatantly throwing such words at me is far from justified. I wish you will get back to me at the soonest. I will do my part to try to get through to you without annoying you. i believe this issue can be resolved. It has been a rough year thus far. Why make it rougher by having this grudge with me, my dear friend. Talk to me, please. Love you, my good friend. Take care. Peace. And yes, I am sorry, once again.

NB: Normally I post something trying to sound grammatically correct but I am mentally exhausted and not going to make an effort to correct myself. If you do notice any errors, do bear with me. If it really annoys you, let me know. I'll change it the next time I update.

Oh and thanks for listening to my musings. Peace.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your site is hard to read because it is so dark, but I guess that's the look you are going for.

mind consciousness said...

Wow! Too many thoughts to ponder. I can relate to what you feel. Sad but very true