Sunday, April 06, 2008

Pregnant Men

This has to be the weirdest subject to hit the Internet since the Internet itself. So much hype has been going around this story. There is no hard evidence that this is even real and that the tests conducted are even real. Anything can be conjured up to be 'true' these days. Probably just a story for some major propaganda and to get the public involved. It sounds massively insane and these radical scientists are thriving on people like us. They need people to actually discuss such issues to create more hype about it. Theoretically speaking, some of their ideas/ideals are not just their own manifestation but are some that certain human beings have 'always wanted' so they're satisfying their needs for a sum of money.

That aside, why do you think the Chinese dude Mr Lee went on Oprah? Simple. To get the word out and empathy (more like sympathy and bullshit love) so that more people will talk about it and embrace/condemn him. Publicity stunt. And as much as Oprah has done her fair share of good for society, such publicity is certainly unnecessary, especially for children, and it will only create more rumors surrounding this story. Sure, we can all raise our opinions and views on the standing issue but theoretically it isn't going to change anything drastically by discussing about it here or anywhere else for that matter. Unless people physically vote down against such weird experiments, these people will continue to size up such acts of i-don't-know-what-to-call-them. Seems all like some melodramatic reality tv to me with an added boost of salt.

If these couples really want to have their kids in whatever fashion, please, for the love of humanity, keep it under the sheets. No need to publicize. What use is this bringing us by going public? Sure, we adults can somehow adjust our mentality to accept such things but how are we to explain such 'unnatural acts' to our young ones? Isn't such events going to steer them into a different path as compared to what they deem possible and acceptable? Wouldn't this alter their state of mind even further and cause conflict in their heads. The world has enough problems already. We are just finding ways and means to pile them up together. Hasn't anyone though of this?

To make the issue even more ridiculous, more the Ex-Man and Mr. Lee are only concerned about how they have always wanted to have a baby and how fulfilling it will be for them as its their lifelong dream, blah blah blah. Once again, some of us have truly showcased that we are indeed the selfish species and that we only care for ourselves. Absolutely no one in their silly experiment seem overly concerned about the children that are going to come into existence and how they will grow up in 'Strangeland'. Once again, the children are left to suffer. When will these people ever, ever think of the children? Now bear in mind that I am pretty open to bi/transgender relationships but anything concerning and putting the survival and livelihood of children at stake is something I'd rather not tolerate.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

The $25 Contest from ThaGuru.com

It seems our friend at ThaGuru has some money to give away, so he has setup a contest to write a post about that contest and comment on his blog and he would drop by and check to see if you have actually done it. Contest ends on April 30 2008. What an ingenious way to gain traffic to his site and get the blogging community involved. Now, if only I had $50 to spare. Oh well, here is the entry you requested ThaGuru. Now I wish you good luck in choosing the winner!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

April Fool

In the heart of April Fool's day, here is an overused, not rated article about April Fool which I conveniently decided to steal off the net. Thank you God for your assistance. We love you too.

"The history of April Fool's Day or All Fool's Day is uncertain, but the current thinking is that it began around 1582 in France with the reform of the calendar under Charles IX. The Gregorian Calendar was introduced, and New Year's Day was moved from March 25 - April 1 (new year's week) to January 1.

Communication traveled slowly in those days and some people were only informed of the change several years later. Still others, who were more rebellious refused to acknowledge the change and continued to celebrate on the last day of the former celebration, April 1. These people were labeled "fools" by the general populace, were subject to ridicule and sent on "fool errands," sent invitations to nonexistent parties and had other practical jokes played upon them. The butts of these pranks became known as a "poisson d'avril" or "April fish" because a young naive fish is easily caught. In addition, one common practice was to hook a paper fish on the back of someone as a joke.

This harassment evolved over time and a custom of prank-playing continue on the first day of April. This tradition eventually spread elsewhere like to Britain and Scotland in the 18th century and was introduced to the American colonies by the English and the French. Because of this spread to other countries, April Fool's Day has taken on an international flavor with each country celebrating the holiday in its own way.

In Scotland, for instance, April Fool's Day is devoted to spoofs involving the buttocks and as such is called Taily Day. The butts of these jokes are known as April 'Gowk', another name for cuckoo bird. The origins of the "Kick Me" sign can be traced back to the Scottish observance.

In England, jokes are played only in the morning. Fools are called 'gobs' or 'gobby' and the victim of a joke is called a 'noodle.' It was considered back luck to play a practical joke on someone after noon.

In Rome, the holiday is known as Festival of Hilaria, celebrating the resurrection of the god Attis, is on March 25 and is also referred to as "Roman Laughing Day."

In Portugal, April Fool's Day falls on the Sunday and Monday before lent. In this celebration, many people throw flour at their friends.

The Huli Festival is celebrated on March 31 in India. People play jokes on one another and smear colors on one another celebrating the arrival of Spring.

So, no matter where you happen to be in the world on April 1, don't be surprised if April fools fall playfully upon you."

The next time you feel naughty, kinky or horny on April Fool's, please look for me. I am willing to make your butt my personal throbbing joke. Yay.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

I stumbled upon face book and it was delicious and I totally digg it but it got slashdotted

Either I am totally lost on what is happening in the Internet world or I am really totally lost. Gone were the days when Friendster was the king of social network sites. Or was it Adult Friend Finder? Others like Hi5 and Ringo and some others which I am too lazy to find out popped up here and there to spice up the already lost competition. And then we had Multiply which seemed to reign for a while until Facebook came and conquered them all just when MySpace was leading the race. And for the niche community of students, there is Yearbook. And then came along the Blogs and the Wikis and etc. I might have missed out a lot of other stuff. Hey, I'm no tech junkie, you know. Just an informant for the uninitiated who always ask me questions when they can easily get a faster and better answer on Google. Oh, unless you consider me a guru, say in the subject of the female species or sex, then please consult me. My email address is here.

Now unless you're a stranger to the internet world, (you're not alone, I am as strange as you are), you must have realized there are all these social network or social bookmark sites and blog/article submitting directories. The original one I believe that started this is Slashdot. Readers target mostly tech websites links and they post them on Slashdot and the amount of hits they to the site that gets posted is so massive that the sites literally encounter downtime or even crash. This was and is still popularly known as being Slashdotted or the Slashdot Effect. These social bookmark sites are everywhere. A quick Google Search will churn out the results. Hey, I've already given you the search link, go click on the links. Okay back to social bookmarking sites. For starters, the more common ones I can think of are StumbleUpon, Digg, Reddit, Furl and Del.icio.us. Best part is, joining is FREE! Weeeee!

Yes, you read that right. Del.icio.us. So what do these sites do? Well they allow the posters to surf the internet and favourite their sites online, so that they can access it anywhere else in the end, and rate these sites and the more popular the site becomes by bookmarking it, it naturally becomes a hit and more traffic gets to that site. If most of the internet users out there in this world and Mars think that your site sucks, then it is time to go and die. No, of course not. Just ask for people on how to revive your webpage. The online or rather faceless community is pretty friendly and always there to lend a helping hand. All you have to do is put aside your ego and ask. Most of them will be willing to help you at almost or even zero cost.

Disclaimer: Subject to their availability. I am not their guardian, so don't go firing at them cause you took my word for it that you might get free help. There is no free lunch. If you're lucky, you might get lunch or dinner. That's it. Now quit whining. Bitch.

So if your site gets stumbled or digged (congratulations!), assuming you have one kick-ass site/blog unlike mine (insert heh sound here), make sure you have enough bandwidth to keep it online in case it also faces the Slashdot Effect. If you don't know what bandwidth means, it simply means that it your site get crashed and it cannot be accessed, you obviously don't have enough bandwidth. Simplest way to explain things. Then you will become an instant famous and/or infamous person online! Only for a while till the hype dies off. But who cares, your shot at becoming popular online is there, so go get your site crashed! You might even get featured on CNN/BBC! Okay, okay, so it seems that all these stuff are leaning towards Web 2.0, which I will not go through here, go and read at the given link. This is the future of the web, to what I know. I do not have access to the cosmos to know if there will be a Web 4.5 Ver 6 available but if you get any informating from God or his sidekicks, keep me posted. So move aside just friend finding networking sites, enter social networking/booking marking sites! For those who are wishing for the worse to happen to me, no, I will not get slashdotted. Thank you very much.

Friday, March 21, 2008

How to save the world - Part - III - I'm kidding, really I am

Okay, so you're all geared up to save the world now or later, right? Wrong! No, I don't mean that you don't possess the capability to save the world. I am just here to say that you don't just pack a few stuff and pretend you're some super-hero and read this post and do the whole saving the whole thing. I mean, like, what are you, an idiot? Straighten up, man! There is just so much to do. Here's what we will plan out. Hey, I mean, if you're going to save the world, you need a plan, right? So hold on to your horses and grab that pen (working one, please) and paper and let's write down those world saving pointers! Right on, mate!

Right. And you actually read all that and almost believed I didn't have the much anticipated answer? I mean, if you were actually reading this far, you were waiting for some mambo jambo or miracle, right? Well, here it goes. The way to save the world is in you. There. I've said it. Yes, in you, you dweeb. Oh, you don't get the whole in you thing, right? Just as I thought. I mean you came all the way here to find the answer to saving the world, right? I almost forgot my saviour status. So I will hold your hand and let you know what I meant by in you. Time to get a little serious here, so pick up the phone and get ready to dial your local ambulance hotline in case you're about to flip.

Okay, okay! Enough already! On with it! Sure thing, mate. You're the boss. Right. So, as I was saying, the way to save the world is in you. Literally in you. Somewhere in that amoeba or sub-atomic particle in you. No, don't cut yourself up to find out. I'm dead serious. Some people will literally take what I am saying, literally. Yes, I meant literally in you. Not physically in you. It's in the way you think. Oh no! Not another positive minded save yourself and save the world theory you scream! Dude, you're here to friggin' save the world. You clean out your friggin' thoughts and acts first! You can't go and save the world if you're a closet masturbation expert, right? I don't know what that means either but you get the point. Rest assured, I am not here to sell you some ebook for $97 or $47 and have an extra special super discount page for $7 or take a 30 day course for $997, $497 or have an extra special super discount page for the $297 one-of-a-kind-super-advanced-never-heard-before-but-was-used-by-people-
ages-ago-and-used-by-all-the-top-internet-marketing-gurus-
or-experts-kind-of-meditation with my iron,steel, metal, silver, gold or whatever metallic substance I can find 30, 60 or 90 days money back guarantee for you to get attuned in first before saving the world. (Was a really long sentence, I know.) The world doesn't have 30 days. The world only has its people. The world only has You. Touche? Yeah, I know.

Here is the your ultimate world saving plan. Approved by every known world saving guru out there on and off the internet! Heck, it's even approved by Superman! Now you have absolutely no fear of doing your part to save the world! The gist of it is simple. It's always simple, isn't it? You clean out your thoughts and acts starting from today. Yes, no secret mantras involved! No one is asking you to be a saint or hermit. Those are for guys and girls who wish to look like Himalayan monkeys and don't wish to get laid, like ever. Do a small good deed today. Like read this blog and tell someone who really deserves help. Just reading this post won't help him/her, you moron! I mean, tell them the good stuff I am writing out here. Hey, this is hard work, you know. It's not a sit down and meditate and expect the rest of the world to help you concept. You help yourself first. You be a better person from today onwards. You treat that little bitch in the park with kindness. No, not hit it on with that hot mama/milf. I meant the dog. You give your food, preferably leftovers, to your neighbour. Never mind if it is not halal if he/she is a Muslim. They usually won't eat it or give it away, anyway. It's the thought that counts. Yes, they have angels on your left and right to count your brownie points for you! Yay! How cool is that? Stop dreaming and listen up! You give that guy/girl on the streets who is faking an illness or a handicap and give him/her your last 10 dollars and pray to your favourite God, who looks much better than you by the way, that your good deed will come back to you in ten fold. Hey, karma, remember? What goes around comes around. Do not try that by throwing a knife or shooting a bullet at someone. That person will be dead and the wound or shot won't come back to you. Okay, maybe if you're a ghost lover, they might but ghosts have better things to do than to look ugly and haunt people.

At the end of 30 days like how they all like it, see how much a better person or loser you've become. If you're a better person, than good. See if you can be featured on your local TV show to advertise yourself and gain instant pop status! If you've become a loser, at least feel proud that your loss has resulted in something for the greater good. After all, it is always about the greater good. Every guru propagates that fact that you're one with the rest of the Universe. Sure you are. No really, you are. Just don't fuck it up for others cause you're only going to fuck it up for yourself. And no, I am not fucking kidding here. Now go ahead and dial that ambulance hotline and tell them that some deranged fella has given you instructions to follow but never asked you to buy anything. Or call your nearest child-loving priest or self-help line to seek further help. You've been served. Peace.

P.S. Nothing to see here. This part is usually the most noticed in any letter/post, eh? Yeap, you just proved it. Sheesh.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

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Monday, March 03, 2008

How to save the world - Part II - Truth

So what is the truth or rather, Truth? If everyone of us have our own variation of the Truth, what constitutes the real Truth? Perhaps, there is one such Truth that exists. At least, to me is does. One that is free from falsehood and error. We shall call it Ultimate Truth or Absolute Truth for now. We all like to label things, don't we? So where do we find this Truth? Well, we shall find out. I ask too many questions for your own good. So read on if you're interested.

Ever had one of those episodes where you're scratching your head out to resolve a long outstanding issue and there just doesn't seem to be any way to overcome it? So you spend way too much time trying to get around it and eventually you just give up and let it go. At least most of us do. For those who are mentally strong, you know where I'm headed. So you go about your usual mundane routine after some time, and one day you're dumbstruck with the most obvious (but not so obvious then) solution and you'd slap yourself silly for thinking, "Why didn't I think of that before?" So the solution had come to you. (If such a thing has never happened to you, either you're unaware of yourself or you simply refuse to believe anything that you'd deem as ridiculous or out of the ordinary or you just got to wait for your turn). But where from? Divine intervention, I'd say? So all we have to do was whenever we had a standing issue, to just let it go and wait for the solution and it will pop out at an unknown time? Seems like it does, at times, if we let it come to us. Whether we have the patience for it is another issue. We're too caught up with our current predicament to actually wait for this solution. Perhaps. We're always on the lookout for that instant solution but the solution doesn't arrive oh-so instantly. We're far too impatient to wait and just give up. Fair enough. I mean if you have a massive debt to resolve, you'd spend time worrying about it day and night and focus on that as compared to waiting for the solution to arrive, right? Come on, we're just human, you'd argue. Well, for argument's sake, yeah we are but are we really human or is there more to us?

So what does all this have to do with the Truth, Ultimate Truth or Absolute Truth? Simply put, there lies the Absolute Truth in us. Yes, right inside of us. Huh? Where? Beats me, buster. If I knew, I'd be richer than all the richest people in the world. So just know it is inside of us. In came from inside of you somewhere, right? It is this Ultimate Truth aka Divine Intervention that provides the solution to us when we're ready to accept it, as some enlightened people would say or have you believe. We'd love to disagree with that but at the same time we'd easily nod our heads to that too. Desperate times call for desperate measures. So now that we know that the solution provider is labeled as Truth, Ultimate Truth, Absolute Truth, Divine Intervention or whatever uber cool term we'd love to give it, how do we go about being in sync with so that we can solve all our problems and some day save the world? This is about saving the world, right? You mean, it is not? It is? Fine, fine, I will wait for Part III to find out more.

Disclaimer, well sort of: We're all suckers for believing someone who seems to know better than us. So we either condemn them or embrace them depending on what happens to us after we believe them and take action based on their words. Take the initiative to do your own research first before coming to your own conclusion about anything. Don't be too quick to blame others for your own shortcomings. We're all 100% responsible for our own actions. Peace.